Sue Ellen: All grown up
by burnt-toast11
Summary: For a little over six years, Sue Ellen hasn't seen Elwood city. For a year, she hasn't spoken to any of her old friends. But now she's come home, hoping her past wont follow her. T for a reason.
1. Chapter 1

_(In case you didn't see it, this story is _**T**_ based on swearing and violence)_

_Don't read the story just yet. If you went so far as to click on the link to read the story, then I believe the least you deserve is a quick explanation **(If you don't wanna' hear it, the story is a few lines down there)**.  
Firstly, Sue Ellen is cool._

_Thank you._

**_Begin story..._**

* * *

You know, I knew someone who said something very smart to me...

_"We live in a world where seeing is not believing...Where only a few know, what really happened...We live in a world, where everything you know, is wrong."_

Kinda sad though. Regardless of how metaphorical or deep that was, no one will remember it. Life does that._ Lost like tears in the rain_, right?

_Fuck it._

* * *

"I suggest you take some time to think about this...Don't rush into things"

She flinched at the thought of it.

"How about this...I'll let you have three months service leave, beginning whenever you want in the next week. At the end of it, you come back, tell me where you want to be in life, and we'll work from there?"

This was getting pathetic "...Your bargaining now?"

"Yes Armstrong, I am"

Well, it was essentially three months of paid vacation. No duties unless the world was about to end. Metaphorically _(Possibly Literally)_.

"Fine, that'll do"

"Good, I'm glad to hear it..." The officer slipped a copied sheet out of one of his many wooden drawers, and quickly filled it in. He slid it over to the other end of the desk, along with his pen. Sue Ellen hastily obliged.

_'Anything to get the hell out of here'_

_

* * *

_

Elwood city had changed. Kind of. Of course, it was still a friendly and organized place to live. Almost zero crime, high education, varied socio-economic backgrounds, wide variety of cultures...But there was something weird.

Sue Ellen continued down the concrete pavement, passing Elwood elementary. She stopped, and looked in one of the windows. She could see children who could have been her old friends, laughing at someone who could've been a parody of Buster, who was being reprimanded by someone who probably was Mister Ratburn.

_God, that was freaky._

She checked her watch. Only ten minutes until the bell rang. Ten minutes until she walked her friends child to the Sugar Bowl to meet her mother. Ten minutes until she saw the epitome of one of her best friends visage in...

_Dammit_, it was happening again. She was repeating herself. It kept happening ever since...

Since...

* * *

_Sand was blowing in her face. She couldn't see a thing. But she couldn't yell out for help, lest she be heard and ruin the whole operation. She just had to wait for the signal. The signal._

_She adjusted her grip on her life preserver. Her husband. Her gun._  
_She looked back and noted her only other back up glare back at her. Not in anger, but in shared anxiety of what was about to happen._

_A magnificent roar. Overhead. An A10. A Fairchild Republic A-10 Thunderbolt II. Twin turbofan engines mounted on the wings. A sudden shrieking. Nineteen Hydra anti-material rockets came screaming out of their holder and hammered the 'covert' enemy listening post, followed by the screams of fearful men, and their last breathes._

_That was the signal. The signal. Alarm bells._

_

* * *

_

"Miss Sue Ellen Armstrong?"

A tiny girl was tugging on her shorts. She blinked out of her repressions and looked down. The pleasant face of a quiet puppy looked brightly back up at her. Class had been dismissed.

"Miss Laverne Walters?"

"That's me!"

Smiles all around.

"Good, lets get you to the Sugar bowl...You look like your starving"

"You betcha'!"

Apparently, Laverne only took after her mother in her bright eyes and glossy brown fur.

* * *

Laverne charged in ahead of Sue Ellen, allowing her to enter without having to go through the bell (It hurt her ears anyway).

"Oooh, that looks yummy" Laverne pressed her face up against the glass counter to examine the many treats inside. The Sugar Bowl seemed to have retained its nostalgic feel. Or maybe that was just the smell this place gave off.

Sue Ellen looked around. Fern wasn't anywhere in sight. Great. And here Sue Ellen was without any know-how on taking care of kids. If they were anything like a car...

"Sue Ellen?"

She turned to see the familiar red blow saluting her from atop Fern's head.

"Fern" She acknowledged

"Mommy!"

_Mommy_. It had been so long since she'd heard someone say that. _Heh heheh_.

"Sorry to keep you waiting" Fern eyed behind her, towards the toilets. _Nuf' said._

"Its okay, we just got here" Sue Ellen checked her watch. Not that she had to be somewhere, she just liked knowing what the time was. She sidestepped down into a seat and motioned for Fern to follow. Regardless of her mother, Laverne reveled in looking at the delicious displays within the glass counter.

"So you just got back?"

"Yep, I'm here for three months...Then I'm going to go shove my resignation up my C.O's- "

"Mommy, they have a man shaped one in there!" Laverne was speaking of the rather delectable humanoid shaped blue pastry. It had sprinkles for hair, and chocolate for eyes. A mouthwatering sight to say the least. Sue Ellen licked her lips as she considered getting up and joining Laverne at the counter to stare and purchase.  
Fern just smiled.

Kids..._She haz them_

* * *

After handling her daughter (Bribery via sugary pastry was apparently fair game), Fern had a lot she wanted to ask and tell Sue Ellen. They hadn't met in person for six years, and for the last year, they hadn't spoken at all. But she couldn't just break into it that quick. She wasn't that type of person.

"I like your hair"

Sue Ellen smiled. _Good old Fern_. She was never blunt. She was an expert at small talk. Regardless though, it was a nice compliment with something resembling genuine honesty in it. She felt back at her frizzy, but tied back hair. She remembered when she used to tie it into two bushels on her head, but that time was long gone. Life did that.

"Thanks..." She desperately searched for a reply "Nice...Kid"

A well put icebreaker, Fern laughed and rubbed her daughters back.  
"Thanks...She's six"

Six. She'd been born when Sue Ellen had been deployed. Seen pictures of her while...out there. Beautiful child, and well mannered (If a little more boisterous then her mother). Or so she'd heard.

"Do you have any plans while your out here?"

"To be honest, I wanted to see how everyone was going...You know, from the old gang..." She felt so weird saying that. As if she was part of some demented bookworm's script for his blockbuster book that would never get published **(No relation)**.

"You'll be hard pressed to do that...Muffy's left on business, and I'm pretty sure Binky went to see a boxing match somewhere. Everyone seems to have something on"

Sue Ellen was surprised that Fern had such a decent level of contact with them "Wow, everyone's really grown up haven't they?"

"You've been away for six years Sue..." She hadn't been called Sue for years. _YEARS_. God, what had she done with her life? "Have you got a place to stay?"

Sue Ellen smiled. Of course she didn't. She'd left the base hoping that Elwood city would be it's old, friendly self.

"If you want, we have a futon you can sleep on"

And it still was.

* * *

_For those of you wondering, lets face facts here, Sue Ellen and Fern are best friends. In almost every episode of Arthur that I have seen they are sitting together, standing near each other, or talking. Sides, if they can be lesbians, they can be besties. And the quotes up top are from the directors cut of blade runner and call of duty seven - spec ops (the trailer)_

_Oh, and I own nothing but the webpage...crap, that's fanfiction's isn't it?_

_And if you show up next chapter, there's a party in it for you...Or is it for you?_

_Also, if there are ANY spelling/grammar/english related mistakes in here, TELL ME. Review or PM me, call me if you have my phone number (wink wink), just **FFS, TELL ME.**  
_


	2. Chapter 2

_That's right, I didn't stop writing after the first chapter. I hope your all duly impressed._

_but for now...read_

* * *

_"Orders are in, we're holding this building until the osprey arrives"_

_God, the heat was unbearable._

_"Are you kidding me?"_

_She overheard the conversation, but kept her sights pointed out at the horizon._

_"There's a goddamn tank coming for us, we'll get blown to pieces!"_

_A black line appeared in the distance. She remained silent. The sheer heat weakened the connections between her mind and tongue._

_"We dont know that for sure...For all we know it was taken out when the Cobra's did their run!"_  
_"FOR ALL WE KNOW, ITS THE NEXT THING COMING OVER THAT HORIZON!"_

_The line took shape. It went from a one-dimensional shape, to a half-circle, and then formed the armored fist of a tank unit._  
_"CONTACT FRONT!"_  
_Fire poured out of the building instantly. The argument from behind was drowned out in a sea of 5.56mm rounds. But it wasn't enough to stop the tank. It had already sighted the building, and calculated the arc required to hit the first floor window, third from the right._

_She didn't have a chance. The round hit, and the wall was gone. She was hit. And bleeding out fast. God it hurt._  
_"MEDIC!"_  
_"ARMSTRONG IS DOWN!"_  
_"FUCK THE BUILDING, WE'RE GOING TO GET TORN APART!"_  
_Jesus Christ it hurt. She screamed. She gritted her teeth. She clung onto the nearest man. She breathed hard. There wasn't a way to express the pain. She could only scream._  
_"GET ARMSTRONG, WE'RE BUGGING OUT!"_

_The one she was crushing with her hand stepped closer and scooped her up. There was no time for a fireman carry, she was bleeding out through her stomach. No point getting his head bloody. Her hands were bloody, and left a red mark on his neck._

_She kept screaming. The pain. It hurt. **It hurt.**_

* * *

It was morning. The futon was warm. Her clothes were drenched in sweat. Her chest was heaving. She may have wet herself. The sounds of cartoons were emanating from the adjacent room.  
_Oh yeah._ She was at Fern's place.

She collapsed back down onto the bed. _God, that had been a bad one_. She could still feel the blood drying on her hand. The heat on her forehead. She rubbed her eyes. She was so sick of this shit.

"Sue?"

She quickly sat back up, startled that someone knew her name. But it was just Fern.

"Are you okay?"

_No. I feel like crap. I just had a nightmare which shows signs of PTSD, a common anxiety disorder associated with being in high-stress situations and environments, such as direct combat or torture._

"Yeah, I just had a bad dream..." Fern still looked concerned "S'nothing"

"Well, do you want anything to eat?"

"Not just yet, thank you though"

"Alright...I'll be in the next room if you need me" Before she left, Fern stopped at the doorway. She turned back at Sue Ellen with all seriousness "Are you sure your alright?"

_No. I'm not. I feel like I have missed out on just about everything this world has to offer. I do feel like breakfast. Toast? Cereal? Bacon and eggs?_

"I'm certain"

Fern smiled, then returned to other room, where Sue Ellen presumed Laverne was watching cartoons.

Without anyone watching her now, she could resume her brooding. She swung her legs over the edge of the folded down Futon. She was cold. That may have been because she was wearing what the bare minimum of being decently attired was, but this cold seemed to touch her bones. She shivered.

Now she was ready for breakfast.

* * *

"Whose he?"

"That's Mister Malecki, he's funny"

"What's he do?"

"Every time he appears, something falls on his head!"

Man, children's cartoons rocked.  
Sue Ellen had been waiting for Fern to finish a quick call to Arthur. Whether she was arranging a meeting or just having a chat was unknown. All Sue Ellen could do was watch TV.

Laverne burst out laughing. Mister Malecki had been hit squarely on the head by three tomato slices. The context didn't make sense as he was inside a house, but it was a side splitter none the less - For Laverne. To Sue Ellen it was just kind of silly.

"Sue?"

"Yuh'huh?"

"Arthur says he's meeting at the park with Buster, did you want to go say hello?"

"CAN I COME?" Laverne shouted. She loved playing with Buster (Even though he and her mother weren't spectacular friends).

"That depends...Sue?"

Sue Ellen scrunched up her face. What kind of question was that?  
"Damn right"

* * *

Thankfully, Fern only lived a block away from the park. For them, it was a ten minute walk. For Laverne, it was a two minute run. It was good for the two. This way it was a short tour of what had changed for Sue Ellen. And very fittingly, it was a short one. Elwood city was perfect. It didn't need to change.  
The park was, as expected, fresh and brimming with activity. Frisbee's, skateboards, bikes, it was all there. The path they were walking on was a crisp gray concrete, without a speck of trash or skid marks. So this is what she had missed out on...

"Man...This place hasn't changed a bit"

"Geography doesn't matter, people do"

Sue Ellen aimed a swift shot at Fern's arm "You haven't though"

They both laughed. Fern shifted her bicep around, stemming the pain.

"Hey Fern!" Arthur appeared from a shady spot near the path. Sue Ellen automatically felt a burst of adrenaline enter her system even though this time only words came at her, not bullets.

"Hey Arthur" The two hugged as they met. Sue Ellen raised an eyebrow. A low-whistle slipped out from her lips.

"I didn't know you two were an item"

Arthur was surprised, Fern looked insulted (Which probably said more about Arthur then it did about Fern). "Uh...We arn't Sue Ellen"

The confusion bounced right back onto Sue Ellen. "Then whats with all the PDA?"

Confusion. **MOAR.**

"Public display of affection?"

"You mean the hug?"

"Is there something I'm missing here?"

Arthur and Fern gave each other a concerned look. Sue Ellen felt patronized.

Yes. She had missed a **shitload**.

* * *

Arthur opted against trying to hug Sue Ellen. A handshake sufficed. They discussed each others wellness and moved on to a park bench where they watched over Laverne and Buster playing with a kite.

"So how long are you back for Sue Ellen?"

"Three months...But hopefully, the rest of time"

"That's good. I cant imagine what it would've been like overseas..."

No. He couldn't. He'd lived here most of his life. He'd gone to university, got a teachers degree. Just like he always wanted. Just like that...

* * *

_A shot rang out. One man down._  
_"SNIPER, TAKE COVER!"_  
_She dropped into the rich dark soil. That was the first step. Next step, inspect cover opportunities._  
_Bombed out building. Ten meters right. Good cover. Already taken by nine others. Friendly unit. No room._  
_Another shot. This one came close to her. It rammed into the dirt and spat it in her face. He was zeroing in. No time to wait. Must move. Must move._  
_The webbing was heavy. Fuck it. The clips snapped off with ease. Now it was just her and one clip. Thirty rounds. No covering fire option._  
_Make them count._

_Another shot. This one passed her head. She felt it fly through a frizzle that had escaped her hair clips. No choice. Keep running. Zig zag. Must move._

_A loud click. No bang. He must have jammed!_  
_Fiddling. Bolt action. Sixty metres forward. Second ridge from the left._  
_"SIXTY METRES, SECOND RIDGE, LEFT!" She called out. Her heavy footsteps must've become evident to the shooter by now. Why didn't he run?_

_Where was the fiddling? He must have fixed the jam._  
_The gun zeroed in again. This time the scales were even. Thirty metres between them. Trijicon ACOG sights vs sniper-standard rifle scope. Single shot._

* * *

"Sue Ellen?"

She sat up, unsure. "Huh?"

Fern was concerned. Arthur was curious "Are you okay?"

_No. I just had a PTSD hallucination. This is the second time that I have experienced a PTSD induced symptom relating to previous stimulus. I think I should see a doctor. Better yet, put me in a mental hospital. Send me back to school. Re socialize me. Heal me. For the love of god, PLEASE, someone help me._

"Yeah..." She stopped. She wanted to tell them...No. She was too strong to say it "...I'm fine"

"Oh, okay" Arthur seemed please with himself that he had chased up the problem "I was just saying that we could give you a ride over to your parents if you wanted"

_**...What the hell?**_

"Uh...ok" Sue Ellen vaguely remembered telling Fern she planned on visiting her parents this afternoon. But how did Arthur find out?

Something was up. _Something was wrong_.

* * *

Buster was a surprisingly good driver. And this was coming from the front passenger seat. Once again, she wondered why they'd put her here. They knew she preferred the backseat..._Heh heh, oh wait_. An enjoyable silence kept the car from getting that uncomfortable feeling, but Sue Ellen had to ask.

"How did you know I was going to visit my parents today?"

Before Fern or Arthur could think something up, Buster responded "Fern told us. We figured it'd be a nice gesture"

He was a great speaker. And an exceptional liar. Buster had spent the primary part of his school life thinking up excuses for minor homework to major assessments. But that meant that although he had a fluent tongue, he had never truly learnt how to play the part. He tapped his fingers when he lied. He scratched the inside of his ear too.

"Cool" Best not to let on that she knew just yet. She didn't want to ruin their surprise.

Before she knew it, the road became familiar, and several newer houses appeared alongside one older one. One that radiated a sense of nostalgia and safety. Her home. All still in tip top condition. Dark green hedges, bright red roof, beautifully polished windows. A real sight for sore eyes.

She was the first out of the car. She breathed in deep. The smell was exquisite. Unbelievable.  
"Good to be home?" Buster said, patting her back. She nodded. The veranda was glossy, and a new addition of a wicker couch added a nice touch of freshness to the...

Wait. Buster's hand was still on her back.

Hold on.

_Something was wrong._

Why were they escorting her into her parents house?

Her mind panicked. They couldn't be spies...Could they? Had...THEY come back? Hunted her down? Used her friends against her?  
Please god no. **Please**. _**No**_._ No, no, no, no._

Her lungs worked rapidly in sync with her heart. She examined the house, checking for tell tale signs of explosives or security cameras. She didn't want to be a '_one-use mine clearer_'. She resisted. But the light resistance she put in was not enough to stop them. Now it was more a socially driven force that was behind her. She couldn't stop.

She had to open the door. Even if it meant certain death.  
No sign of wires, or door cracks. Could've been an expert job. Or they could have it booby trapped on the other side.

Time slowed.  
**Rule 28: Enter Action with Boldness**. She grabbed the handle and wrenched it open. The door rushed forward.

_**They jumped her.**_

_**

* * *

**hey, cool_

_that was a second chapter. how about that huh?_

_pretty good yeah?_

_bloody right_

_same deal. if there are any mistakes or grammar problems, please do notify me. thanks again.  
_


	3. Chapter 3

_phwoar, third chapter. keep reading_

* * *

_"Contact front"_  
_Whispered. Don't alert the enemy._  
_"Numbers?"_  
_"Three armed, one techie"_  
_"All expendable"_  
_"You sure?"_  
_Ignore Reznov. It's his first day._  
_"You take left most. I'll take the right guard and the techie"_

_Zero in. Take aim. Line it up. Mark the spot._  
_"Three...Two...One"_

**"SURPRISE!"**

Wait. Where was she?  
The dark sand had turned into brightly lit floorboards. The four enemies who were thirty meters away had turned into ten or twenty, with only two separating them. But their faces. She recognized their faces. Her weapons and equipment were gone. Her clothes had changed and Reznov was missing.

Surprise. Surprise. Surprise party!  
_Oh._

She smiled when she realized she was no longer '_over there_'. She laughed when she realized that they had scared the living shit out of her.

* * *

The coming home party was a nice gesture. Everyone had attended (Save Muffy, who actually WAS away on business) to see Sue Ellen returning home from service, and to alleviate their own guilt about veterans. She was duly impressed with their very efficient manner.

But beyond that, she was happy to see everyone again. And especially happy to talk to them. Binky had gotten taller and nearly hit the awnings in the doorways whenever he walked through. Brain, while he hadn't physically changed from the last time Sue Ellen saw him, was sporting a splendid teachers blazer. Leather elbow patches and all. Prunella had taken on a look similar to her older sister, George's hand showed signs of a clumsy but profitable woodworking career, Francine looked...**Ripped**.

Everyone had changed. She felt overwhelmed by it. But once she'd gotten through the hugs and the handshakes, she finally reached her parents. Space had already cleared between. Her eyes teared up.

She wasnt sure what to say. So she fell back on _K.I.S.S_.

"Hi mom. Hi dad"

She didn't cry. She wouldn't. It was too weak. And she was stronger then that. The same couldn't be said about Mrs. Armstrong though, as she burst into tears and she wrapped her arms around Sue Ellen. And although it cant be proven that Mr. Armstrong did the same, _it cant be dis-proven._  
Amidst the wave of '_awww's_' and sniffles, she heard "_It's good to see you again Sue Ellen_" whispered.

_'It really is._'

* * *

Eventually, she managed to get away from the curious eyes, and the loving pats on the back. There was too much sympathy and pity for her. Once they'd gotten past the stories and the friendly gestures, everyone was just trying to alleviate their guilt. So, while no one was looking, she slipped upstairs. To her old bedroom.

The stairs creaked, but everyone was too busy talking to notice. She slowly allowed her memories to move past her as the sound faded out. The hall was still well decorated. Not too empty, plenty of color. Her room door was open. She slipped in. And breathed. It smelt so...

So...

_Nostalgic._

* * *

_Sue Ellen snapped her suitcase shut. She had ensured that it followed the list of items that she was meant to, and not meant to bring. It was sad to have to leave all of her antiquities here, but she knew her parents would take good care of them._  
_She grabbed the handle, and pulled the suitcase off the bed. She took a last look around the sterile room. She'd managed to pack anything left behind into a single large wardrobe. Not that she'd be taking it with her, but when she got a chance to come back, she wanted to know where it was._

_Then she realized she was wasting time. She checked her watch. She still had an hour before she had to leave, but bus timetables could be all over the place. She took a last look, and walked out._

_She descended the stairs, expecting to see her parents worriedly discussing how to get her to pull out of this. Its not that they weren't supportive, they were just parents. Parents who knew a decent bit of foreign policy, and just enough about casualty rates._

_Surprisingly, they weren't discussing their daughter. They weren't even **there**.__ No one was home. _

_She heard a car pull up outside. She peeked through the window and noticed a taxi driver exit his vehicle, with a placard reading 'S. Armstrong'._

_Maybe they just didn't want to breakdown in front of her, so they just decided to skip this bit. But that didn't seem anything like them. She had been looking forward to a last goodbye. So she accepted a sigh as her last official action in her childhood home.__ She exited the house and handed the suitcase to the pseudo-porter. She entered the backseat and defeatedly fell into the seat. Of course, she was looking forward to basic training, but no one had come out to say goodbye. She didn't mean to be selfish, but it was pretty unfair._

_The taxi eased away from the gutter and cruised along the residential road. Sue Ellen smiled as she watched her life pass by. Her friends houses, the tree house, elementary and high school, the sugar bowl, Arsubia...God, why was she doing this. She just wanted to travel. Not leave her friends and family for a whole a year at a time._

_She leaned forward towards the plexiglass wall between the front and backseat of the car, mentally unpacking her suitcase already. But she stopped. She noticed something._

_Something was wrong._

_Where was everyone? Her house was deserted, the streets were empty, and the entirety of Elwood city's population had apparently vanished!_  
_Where had they gone?_

_They were approaching the city limits now. From here, it was only a few minutes to the bus depot. But to Sue Ellen's surprise, the 'You are leaving Elwood City' sign had been replaced with 'GOODLUCK SUE!'. Behind it, Sue Ellen could see almost everyone she knew. Fern, Buster, George, Arthur, Francine, Muffy, Binky, Brain, Jenna, and even Prunella. Behind them, she could see a turnout of just about everyone else. Even Mr. Ratburn had shown up to say goodbye. But something was wrong._  
_She could see her mother. But where was..._

_"So, your heading for boot camp?" THis voice was raspy and forced. He wasn't used to pretending._  
_Sue Ellen smiled, barely holding back a tear of joy. She sniffed her nose, keeping it bottled up._

_"Yep" She said simply.  
_

_

* * *

_

Such great memories. Ones that made her wish she'd done something else. Stayed here with her friends. Maybe become an archaeologist, or a cultural academic, or a diplomat even! She could have done so...

Her stomach convulsed._ Oh god_. She was about to throw up. She tried breathing deep. She covered her mouth. She went down on one knee and gave up. She couldn't hold it in anymore...

A single glob of spittle drooped out and onto the reflective wood floor. It didn't even look yellow. Or orange. Or anything like puke. _That was close_. Her emotions almost got her that time. She had to try to control them better. Lately they'd been getting the better of her, and this time, they nearly overpowered her. She couldnt let that happen. She couldnt let down Reznov...Not again...

"Sue Ellen?" A voice from the door. Her father. Worried. Knowing.  
She tried to put on a winning smile, but only pulled off a '_I-nearly-threw-up_' smile "Hey dad"

"Are you feeling alright?"

_No. I just about spilled my guts all over my old floorboards. Say, can I talk to you? What have you ever heard about the old Studies and Observations Group? What about the diplomatic relations between Russia and the US? Can you just hug me? God I'm alone._

"Yeah, I just got a little homesick while I was gone"  
He walked over, and knelt down with her. He knew there was more to it.  
"Sue Ellen...I can understand if you cant tell me certain things because your in the army, or your away for years at a time, or your a girl, but...don't try to be confidential about things that really might hurt you...Especially ones that might hurt you here, at home"

Please. _Help me._

"Thanks" She looked down at the glob. It had nearly disappeared from sight now. "I'm just gonna' head back down"

* * *

_just so its clear, the reason the first three chapters got submitted so fast is because i pre-wrote them. the next chapter may take anywhere from a day, to another week to write._

_just so your aware. but you know, a great way to keep up with a story your interested in reading, is to just add it to your story alert section_

_***hint hint***_

_oh, also, if you see any spelling or grammar mistakes, please review or pm me._


	4. Chapter 4

Back down into the party. Or a personally tailored hell. _Whatever._

"Hey, look who's back!"

Yeah. It was Sue Ellen. _Whoa, big surprise._ Still, they thought it was worth cheering for.

"Thanks..." She was in the middle of the stairs. And they were all looking at her. _Oh crap_, they wanted a speech. She dawdled her fingers and examined the room "Uh...Geez, I didn't prepare anything..." She rubbed her chin "...Thanks for coming out to welcome me back home...Good surpise party"  
_Bullshit..._  
"...I guess your all probably wondering what happened to me for a year...I..." She took a moment. Was she ready to tell them where she'd been? She was allowed to tell them, but no specific details. Her PTSD grimaced, tugging back her confidence. Its not like she couldn't...Right?

_Dammit._

"...I appreciate all of you being so...incurious about it" Well, that's what you call a big let down. Was incurious even a word?

Naturally, they all smiled and gave her warm looks. They wanted her to feel at home. Open up if she wanted, but let her have her space. She wondered if they knew she was lying, or if the walls around her were paper thin. She really just wanted someone to ask.

* * *

This night was a lot better. No...dreams. She woke up at five in the morning though.

Despite the cold, she went outside in her old army shirt and shorts. Fern's new house had a great little balcony. She could see the twilight horizon behind the short residential homes, which created a spectacular, overwhelming sight. _It was so blue._  
She'd only ever seen it once before. A few months ago. In Russia, with Reznov. And now a second time...Without Reznov.

She clenched her fists on the wooden posts that kept her from falling to her very unlikely death. _No._ She wouldn't let it happen again. She would beat this through sheer will. A burst of pain erupted in her stomach. Like an ache, or a sucker punch.

So that's what happened when she resisted it.

...

She could live with it. _For Reznov._

_

* * *

_

"Six thirty"

No one was listening. She didn't care.

Sue Ellen had gone for a walk. She hadn't wanted to face Fern before she'd cleared her head of the...

_...Yeah._

The brisk air had remained frigid, and now the sun had a clear challenge ahead of it as an overcast sky threatened the east. Sue Ellen had duly brought her jacket from Fern's place. She was just happy to be able to clear her head. And maybe reflect a little too. And maybe eat something. Whatever came first, she wasn't fussy. She hadn't planned on walking anywhere in particular, maybe just around a block or two. And in only a short walk, Sue Ellen reached Lakewood elementary. Initially, she fought the urge to stroll over and take a closer look then she had the other day. But when she looked in either direction and saw nothing but row after row of houses, she crossed the road to her old school.

It looked different in the morning. Or maybe it was just that she couldn't see any children inside this time. She resisted the urge to go up to the window and look inside at her old classrooms. It would look really freaky. She just moved onto the playground.

And it had changed dramatically. Dozens of new benches and seats, new and more 'secure' looking equipment, concrete, mats, fences. It looked amazing. But it broke her heart. Her childhood memories had basically been banished. The creaky old merry-go-round, the swings, the jungle gym...All gone, or replaced by new and more complicated looking replica's.

"Pretty good, huh?"

Sue Ellen nearly had a heart attack. Her hand automatically readied her imaginary sidearm. But it was a friendly. She nearly didn't recognize him.

"George?" She'd seen him at her welcome home party, but they'd hardly spoken.

"Yep" A chocolate brown toolbox with his initials indented onto it gave away his reason for being here. However, in the name of manners, Sue Ellen was inclined to ask.

"Here to fix something?"

"Here to finish something"

"You..." She quickly glanced between the mass of work and the one man "...Made all of this...alone?"

"Yep, half price too...Herbert's a real nice guy"

_'Herbert' Haney?_

Sue Ellen rubbed her hand over the smooth connections of the Merry-go-round. Perfectly bent and welded. One man. Nearly as impressive as Pavlov's house "I thought you only did wood?"

_Hehe...Wood._

"Nope, general material worker" He said proudly. He walked over to a row of seats and opened his toolbox, which elaborately folded out into an amazing repairman's best friend. Sue Ellen casually followed him over to observe him put the finishing touches on a metal support.

After the second nut wouldn't go any further, he stopped. Hopefully he wasn't one of those craftsman that cant work if your watching them. Sue Ellen didn't have anything else to do right now, and it was interesting to watch him at his craft. He had some pretty broad shoulders too.

"Sue Ellen, mind if I ask you a question?"

_Oh god._  
"Go ahead"

He turned around from his kneel and sat on the wooden bench. He looked up at Sue Ellen with a distinct curiosity.  
"What did you do?"

_Shit._  
"Pardon?"

"What did you do in the army?"

_Phew..._  
"I was a Foreign Internal Defense Officer"

"What did you do?"

"I...George..."

He raised his hands quickly in defiance of her attempt at explaining "Oh no, its ok!" He tapped his lips and winked. Well, at least he kind of understood. She _**so**_ wanted to tell him. He was the kind of person who could keep a secret and forget it just to ensure its safety. But laws were laws. Punishments were punishments.

Another set of feet began squidging the grass behind Sue Ellen. _Fifteen meters? Maybe._ Her senses were a bit off when she hadn't eaten.  
"_Memory is the diary that we all carry about with us_...Hey George"

_She knew how to make a good entrance..._

"Hey Fern"

"What're you two doing here?"

"I'm finishing up the benches...Still wobbly" He patted his work, displaying that perhaps only _HE_ could detect such minor wobbliness.

Both eyes turned on Sue Ellen. _Her turn to lie._

"I just felt like a..." _Oh crap._ She was tearing up. Lump in throat-_Swallow it back down, don't let them see it. Rub your nose_ "...A walk out here before it was crowded"

"Well, it is always nice out here, especially on Sunday"

_Yeah._ That's why she was out here. Enjoy the sights. Forget the other stuff. All of the other stuff. All of it.  
Her eyes unfocused. _Something was wrong._ For a few moments, George maintained his work pace, and Fern just snuggled into her jacket. However, no distraction could keep them from noticing the emptiness on Sue Ellen's face. That thousand-yard stare.

"Sue Ellen?"

* * *

_Puff's of dirt flitted up, creating a spectacular visage of hell trying to punch through the earth. Reznov lay there, his blood contrasting on the fat green grass. He moved away from the noise, almost like a dying animal squirming away from a predator. Sue Ellen hustled towards him, ensuring that she kept her head low. A shot charged into her vest, knocking her lungs senseless and pushing her down. But she couldn't stop, not while her only squad mate was dying. Cant stop. She crawled on, squeezing her side, suppressing the pain. Cant stop.  
_

_She finally reached him and pulled him away from the bullets that were making dotted lines through the soil. She pressed her chest up onto his to look down into his goggles. He stared back up, a touch of humor in his eyes. Even though his balaclava hid his mouth, he was obviously smiling. He would never lose his __larrikin__ attitude while he was alive.  
_

_Blood splatter. Straight through his vest. Must have been a heavy caliber. Maybe a machine gun they'd setup._

_Reznov stopped squirming. His desperate bid for life had failed him._

_She failed him. She failed. Failed._

"Are you okay?"

The sand suddenly changed into wet grass. The boiling heat turned into the morning chill. The nearby enemy transformed into trees and playground equipment. _Something was wrong._

"I..." She choked out. Reznov whispered in her ear _'I take bullet for you next time I owe you'_

"...I..." Gravity kicked in. Her legs were no good. They slowly gave in, giving her arms enough time to land her into an upwards fetal position.

"I cant..." Her eyes watered.

**_No._** Not after all these years. Not after nearly six months of holding back the memories, and swallowing the lumps in her throat. She couldn't be that weak. She couldn't endure that humiliation. Not here. Not now. God, she was supposed to be strong. Crying was not something she did. It was too stereotypical. _**Too WEAK!**_ Its what the world wanted her to do. **_Let it out._** But she didn't want to.

From the sounds of it, Fern and George had hurried over, hoping that they would find the source of her problem. But all they could find was Sue Ellen. Alone. And huddled up for warmth. _It was so cold_. She was shivering uncontrollably. _Cold._ _It was so cold._ George couldn't do much. He could only ask Fern for direction. What should he do, did she need help? But Fern herself was unsure. Scared. She hadnt seen Sue Ellen do this before.

"...I'm..." The lump made it almost impossible to breathe, let alone talk. Her next and only word had to be forced out. Through the sorrow and anguish, the emotion she had tried to keep down under what remained of her half-decent personality.

"...not..."

* * *

_To those reading, i would like to make this sentiment__: apologies if i opened up old wounds_

_also, just a note, i wont be here for a little while, so dont expect an update for almost a week. Just a heads up. However, when i get back, there will be a fresh chapter straight outta my arse!_

_and same deal. Any spelling, grammar issues = Tell me_

_Oh yeah, and Pavlov's house is the site of a famous battle in world war II. If you want to find out what happened, **look it up.**_

___finally, if you are confused with the story so far, then don't worry, it will all be understood in time...just a heads up_**  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**SURPRISE**, _that's right, weren't expecting this so soon were ya'?_

_Managed to write this today, right before I left._

_Enjoy  
_

* * *

The house was quiet. Laverne was still asleep. Sue Ellen was resting in Fern's room. George had come back with them (Fern found it difficult to carry Sue Ellen back home by herself), and now he was sitting in the den waiting for a debrief._ Or at least a dismissal._

Fern was boiling the jug in the kitchen. Not so much to make coffee, but to do something. She needed to focus away from what she'd seen.  
She knew that Sue Ellen was a bit more then just a grunt in the army. But she'd never heard of someone having such a horrific breakdown, and she'd never expected to happen to Sue Ellen.

_But then again, Sue Ellen was great at bottling up her feelings._

Fern left the jug to its task and entered her room, where she'd left Sue Ellen to fall asleep. Her nose and eyes looked red raw, her clothes were soaked in sweat, and her bucket (Which Fern had cleverly decided FOR) made a disgusting swishing sound as she nudged it. Unfortunately, she couldn't make her feel better, it would be demeaning to change her clothes without her permission, and she was NOT going to clean out the puke bucket. She just softly threw a blanket over Sue Ellen, and took a last look at her face. There was so much anguish. Her eyes were shut tight, and she seemed to be twitching to a dream. Or a nightmare.

Fern wished she could help. But she knew that trying to interfere right now would only make things worse. She closed the door as she walked out.

She entered the den. George looked up. He was just as concerned.  
"She's..." Adjectives wouldn't leave her mouth. She couldn't think of a good way to put it "...Sleeping"

That would do.

George tried to reply, but he didnt know how. He knew that asking how she was would be a stupid question, and there wasnt anything cheerful to talk about. He just sat there, elbows on his knees. So confused. He had probably overstayed his welcome.  
"I should get back to the school" He'd left his toolbox there anyway. Fern allowed him to go, but as he opened the door to leave she spoke.

"George?"

He looked back. Concerned.

"Please...Lets keep this quiet for now"

He nodded. Glad to have a reason to keep his mouth shut.

He specifically made sure the door didn't even creak.

* * *

Fern was torn. She couldn't think of what to do. She wandered out into her front yard. The sun had risen and now cold air became humid as the sun warmed the dew left on the flora. Cars began moving back and fourth around the streets and every here and there, joggers slugged their way past. A great morning, with nothing great about it.

Fern sat on the stairs leading up to her door. She reached back and pulled the bow from her hair. She'd had it for nearly two decades now. Still in great shape, still bright red. A tear was starting to develop on its side, but it was too small to notice without the light contrasting it with the rest of the bow.

She dropped it onto the stairs next to her. She didn't feel like wearing it right now. She just wanted to sit here and ponder. She loved doing that. _Where was a good book when you needed one?_

"Mommy?"

"Laverne, what are you doing up?"

"I heard you and Mister Loondren talking" _(Yes, that mistake was intentional)_ Laverne, not nearly as tall as her mother stood on the same step as her mother was sitting "What's Miss Armstrong doing in your bedroom. Are you married?"

_Kids...Imaginations the size of a country club golf course_

"No, no..." Fern patted her daughters back. She was worried too "Miss Armstrong is just..."

_Oh jeez...How to explain this to a child_

"...sick"

"I know, her buckets full, and her eyes are really red"

Hehe, Laverne was one heck of a junior detective alrea...Wait...

"Laverne, is Miss Armstrong awake?"

"Yep, but she looks really tired..." Laverne leaned over and whispered "..You might want to give her a sleeping pill"

Well...Regardless of a potentially murderous child, Fern had a sick friend to attend to. She quickly got up and gave Laverne a gratituous hug (Though this may have just been her practicing for what might've been about to come...Or she was trying to prevent her daughter from killing anyone when she got older. Either way it was nice), then sped off back into the house all the way to her bedroom, where she found Sue Ellen sitting on the edge of the bed, huddled in a blanket, with a face like a zombie. She looked up at Fern with tired, annoyed eyes.

"I guess it would be worthless to ask how your feeling"

Sue Ellen smiled "I feel like a red neck beauty queen"

Her humor was intact (If a little sarcastic). At least she hadn't lost that.  
Oh man. She didn't want to have to do this...But...

"Sue Ellen..."

She looked up. It was serious this time.

"...What happened?"

To Fern, she knew this was the risk of the century. She gambled losing her friend via impoliteness, or bringing her back from the brink of losing her sanity. She felt the air was tense as she awaited a reply. This was it.

Sue Ellen mouthed one word that solved that dilemma.

"**_Finally..._**"

* * *

_Failed. She'd failed. It kept ringing in her skull._

_She'd failed._

_Her weapon had been lost someplace or another. She didnt care. Her face was fixed with sadness, even as she was dragged into the back of the insurgent truck. She said nothing, and looked up at the sky with clear eyes. If she had lowered her vision, she would have a seen a myriad of common place weapons pointed at her._

_She seemed empty. If not dead inside._

_She'd failed the mission, Reznov, and herself. Hell, she failed her gender, and probably her country too._

_Fuck it._

_She banged her head against the back of the truck in exasperation. It startled one of the guards, who yelled something at her in Russian...Or Ukrainian...Were they the same language?_  
_She stared at him apathetically. He looked young. And pepped up. A recruit. In the purest sense of the word._

_She didn't want to spend her time figuring out dialects, so she went with the direct method: "Englais? Amyeezlee?" (That's what 'english' sounds like in Russian...So sayeth Google Translate)._

_"English?" One of them in the back spoke up._

_"You speak the English?"_

_"A lot, yes" Regardless of what he thought, his accent was thick like his head._

_She smiled deviantly "Tell your guys here, I'll kill them all if they don't let me go"_

_He laughed, and relayed it back to the truck. The mood lightened, everyone was happy to see the new prisoner still had some spark._  
_Except for the recruit, who sprung up and pointed a gun straight at Sue Ellen's head. He yelled something. Again. She stared the gun down, letting the cool metal push her forehead in. One of the older men spoke up sternly, and without delay the recruit sat back down. He even put down his weapon. Now that was power. She was duly impressed, but still bitter with sorrow._

_

* * *

_Sue Ellen paused. _Intermission time._  
"Did you want me to put on some coffee?"

After that story, Sue Ellen did need a pick-me-up "Yeah...Black, no sugar" Scratch that, she needed a _WAKE-UP-BITCH_

Fern left the bedroom to put the coffee on, and Sue Ellen followed her out. Blanket included. Laverne wasn't anywhere to be seen, but her handwriting was prevalent on a stik-it reminder note.

_'Dear Mom, Amy come early today, be at park'_  
For a six year old, she was pretty damn autonomous.

"The jug might take a bit..."

The jug wouldn't take one minute. Fern just wanted to hear more. But she wouldn't **SAY **it...Sue Ellen knew immediately what she meant.

_**Continue...**_

_**

* * *

**_

_"WHAT WAS YOUR MISSION?" The scream echoed off the walls. Anger was ambient in the muggy climate of the damp cell. The guards were in shirts and pants. Sue Ellen had been stripped down to the same. Her hands were chained to the roof, allowing free access of her torso. Her knees and boots were tied to the ground. Her face bore the marks of beatings, and she was bleeding anew from her mouth._

_A smack on the back of the head. They were rather soft today..._

_"WHO ARE YOUR EMPLOYERS?" Sue Ellen had not spoken in the last two hours. And she'd not eaten for a day. Her face was a flat mix of insanity and sternness. She tried to think of something else. How many days had she been here? Thirty-two. Favourite candy? Eclairs. Milk in your tea?_

_She coughed blood as a kick was delivered to her stomach. She groaned, but she did not cry. She wouldnt let them have it._  
_"WHAT UNIT ARE YOU WITH?" Silence._

_He came closer this time, grabbing her by her chin._  
_"WHO DO YOU WORK FOR?"_

_..._  
_**"I WORK FOR YOUR FUCKING MOTHER!"** A classic comeback with only one setback...She was kicked in the gut again. She groaned. Harder. She strained her shoulders as she leant forward._

_"YOU HAVE A FILTHY MOUTH!"_  
_Slapped. She had to take a few moments to recover. She bobbed back and stared up at the ceiling. The orbiting interrogators were like moons, going around a black hole of information. They thought they could beat it out of her. They'd have to kill her just to find out if she was mortal or not._

_One of them indicated their watch. Visiting hours were over._

_"Fine...Before I go, one last gift...Turn off the heater" And it was done. Then, without much grace or ceremony, he ripped off her shirt and cut off her knee restraints. She was quickly yanked up to her full height via the chains._  
_"ENJOY THE EVENING" He laughed as he left. The other two followed._

_Shit.  
_

_Besides the obvious humiliation that came with being shirtless, she knew from experience how cold it could get here. And now, perhaps out of spite for her resistance, she would have to bear the night without a heater._

_Shit indeed.  
_

_

* * *

_

**End chapter**

_just a note, this actually will **actually** be the last chapter for a couple days. yeah. serious this time._

_hope you enjoyed!_

_(oh and since i wrote this chapter really fast, there could be come spelling/grammar problems there. do point them out if you see any)  
_


	6. Chapter 6

**_Why did this take so long to write:_**  
**_- HSC trials_**  
**_- Not sure, this chapter just gave me some problems_**

**_Enjoy my reasoning. Also, this was a fast chapter (Again), so mistakes and such are quite possible._**

_

* * *

_

_Night fell..._

_She was freezing. She grit her teeth. It was so cold she thought she would die. She couldn't believe it. It defied meteorology. Fuck, this defied reality!_  
_She couldn't feel anything. Except pain. Her bruises and aches cried at her with every breathe. She really thought she would die. Then again, maybe she just really wanted too._

_The door's lock cricked._  
_Another beating...Same deal as last time. Nothing._

_A young guard came through the this one had a metal tray, and he was alone. He used his back to push open the door, so that as he turned around he saw Sue Ellen. And her shirtlessness._

_It was awkward to say the least. She sort of stared at him, dried blood and black eye. He stared back...Up and down._

_He cleared his throat, looked away and bit his lip._

_He probably hadn't been expecting this. But to be fair, Sue Ellen hadn't been expecting on getting captured and strung up like meat. And to make things worse, it was the young man who had threatened to shoot her when she'd first gotten...Captured._

_She feared for a little more then an awkward stare._

_But he did something that truly surprised Sue Ellen. He closed the door, put the tray down, took off his thick wool coat and carefully used the arms to secure it to her back, then wrapped it around her. It wasn't much. But it made the unrealistically cold go to the rather chilly. And it covered her._  
_Sue Ellen was amazed. She thought the recruit hated her after she mockingly threatened to kill him._

_She reflected on the words she learned before coming here to find out the answer._  
_"Pochemu?" 'Why?'_

_Perhaps in a fit of philanthropy, he answered her. He waved off towards the door "Nashi lidery yavlyayut sya Vragi" 'Our leaders are enemies'_  
_He pounded his chest "My eto soldaty" 'We are soldiers'_

_They weren't enemies. They were soldiers. And for once, they weren't fighting each other. He even went as far as unbinding her and allowing her to move her hands._

_As she dug into the meager rations, she eyed the door. The recruit had left it open just a crack, and he wasn't facing her. She could very easily jump him, steal his weapons (And clothes), and sneak out. The patrols weren't that thick, and the camp was usually pretty lax in terms of lighting up the place with fog lights._

_But he was young. He wouldn't go down easy. The only safe option would be to kill him._

_..._

_Well, its not like she could just walk out of the prison...The fight would cause a ruckus, the rifle might jam. Too many chances to fail and die._

_She could rough it._

* * *

"That decision prolonged my stay by about a month" She admitted with a twitch of annoyance

"Well it might've been your last night alive otherwise..." Sue Ellen still wasn't convinced "...And you kept him alive...You saved him"

From the way Sue Ellen snapped back to look at her, Fern had yanked a bunch of heart strings. But instead of glaring, she softened. And smiled sort of.

She considered lying. But she was a bit past lying now.  
"Actually, he was killed when I got picked up...Whole camp got blown to hell"

"Oh..."  
_There went that sentiment._

She was beginning to understand the premise of Sue Ellen's problems. Usually, she was the one that acted like a god's fist, but back there nothing she did altered anything. _Powerlessness can be a real bummer._

Then they both nearly crapped themselves when the phone rang. Fern was quick to pick it up, even though her nerves were jumping all over the place.

"H-Hello?"

"Hey Fern, its Francine!" She sounded upbeat, which was an upper for the solemn mood here.

"Oh...Hey"

Sue Ellen looked on curiously. Fern mouthed _'Francine'_

"Arthur told me Sue Ellen was staying at your place, and I was just wondering if you two wanted to come over for lunch?" Fern smiled. Although Francine wasn't her soul mate in terms of interests, she always had the nicest food. Lots of healthy stuff that tasted good, and Francine always had plenty of it. But Sue Ellen had spent the early hours of the morning vomiting her guts out, so a delicious lunch might not be the best idea.

"Oh...uh...I'll see how she's feeling" Before Fern could get away from the phone, Francine grabbed her attention.

"Wait, _How she's feeling_? Is she okay?"

Fern slapped herself in the face._ STUPID, STUPID, STUPID._

"Oh yeah, she just uh..." Fern looked at Sue Ellen, who was thoroughly confused as to what was going on "...Felt a bit nauseous"

"Oh...How is she feeling now?"

"Oh, well, she had to rest for a while, sh..."

"**I'M FINE!**" Without Fern noticing, Sue Ellen had crept up to the phone and listened in. _Apparently she'd gotten sick of just listening._ Francine was glad she was in such high spirits.

"I guess she's fine"

After a heated glare war, Fern agreed to meet at Francine's place for lunch. Apparently, she'd invited Buster over too. And it was obvious why Arthur would be there..._(Why you ask? You decide, I don't want to alienate anyone)_

* * *

_**This part might get a bit grizzly. No organs or stuff like that, but there's blood and violence. Just a warning.**_

* * *

_"YOU ARE DESERTED, NO ONE IS COMING FOR YOU!"_  
_She stared back. Angry. Enraged. Silent._  
_"SPEAK NOW, OR DIE NOW!"_  
_Sue Ellen blinked. Aah, her eyes felt much better now._

_The commanding officer of the camp screamed in rage. Physical abuse hadn't worked, humiliation had failed, and now soldiers were rallying to her cause by tying clothes around her. Last month it was clothes, last week it was rations, yesterday they'd let her walk around the camp. By next week, she'd be going with them on fire wood patrols._

_That just wouldn't do. Not at all._

_He turned his back on her and straightened up. He knew he had to make her crack. If he could make her spill whatever she knew, then his men would quickly regain faith in him. If not...well, unmarked graves weren't a very fashionable warlord burial plan._  
_"Razvyazat' yee nogi, privesti yee predelami" 'Untie her, bring her outside'_

_Her restraints were quickly cut, and chains snapped open to be replaced by a set of handcuffs. They quickly forced her outside and called in all of their soldiers. A crowd formed around the center of the camp, where Sue Ellen was just now experiencing the light of day again. She squinted fiercely to keep from going blind._

_"Odin ili neskol'ko iz vas ignoriruet moi slova, a takzhe pomoshch' plennyh. YA dayu vam etot ultimatum. Libo shag vpered i litsom nakazanie, ili posmotret' vash plennik razrushennyi'!"_  
_Sue Ellen would be damned if she had heard all of what the old bastard had said, but she heard something about desecrating the prisoner. And naturally, she figured that wasn't good._

_Someone stomped on the back of her knee and forced her down. She knelt down in front of the commanding officer, who was intimidating enough when she was standing up._

_Suddenly she heard a crack. She looked back and saw the meanest looking whip she'd ever laid eyes on in the hands of the meanest looking soldier she seen in...Well, he was actually a bit short._

_The C.O bent down._  
_"Last chance?"_

_She thought for a moment. And smiled. She was sick of this anyway._  
_"Idti k chertu Mudak" 'Go to hell, asshole'_

_Crack. The slicing of her skin was apparent. She cried out in agony. And again. She screamed._

_Still in her face, the grizzled old bear spoke "TELL ME NOW, OR IT GETS WORSE"_

_Sue Ellen looked up again, fearing it would be the last time she ever looked up to see the sky. If she would go, it would be defiant. But it would be graceful too. She looked him straight in the eye, and in a magnanimous and eloquent manner, spat a fat glob of blood and spittle into his face._

_The old man practically had a heart attack from rage. He smacked her face._  
_"Yeshche raz!" 'Again!'_

_The whip cracked, and Sue Ellen felt it. It was like her spine was trying to rip itself out._  
_"Yeshche raz, Yeshche raz!"_

_Four times more. Blood was seeping down onto her pants, and her shirt was clinging on by its v-neck only._

_Another time. She grit her teeth. Tears of pain involuntarily began falling. Everything went blurry. The whipping stopped momentarily._

_"Pochemu vy ostanovilis?"_

_Then it started again. Sue Ellen hurt too much to care what he said. Her senses were pushing themselves to the limit to try and stay online, but her body was failing her mind and she fell over onto the ground. She begged the air to breathe, and she convulsed horrifically. Every twitch felt like a broken arm._

_Still, another whip crack. She felt the blood pouring out. God, she thought something might fall out of her back._

_Finally, it stopped. But rather abruptly. Without any order._

_She heard yelling. And screaming. She saw shadows._  
_It took her another few seconds to regain proper sensory function. One of the soldiers had forcefully taken the whip from the torturer (Who himself seemed to be relieved that he didn't have to continue), and the CO was not happy in the least. He yelled something, but Sue Ellen's brain wasn't working anymore. She could feel a blackout coming on._

_Lines became blurs. More blurs approached the defiant soldier, standing behind him. She prayed -as she passed into darkness- that they were on **her** side._

_

* * *

_

Sue Ellen stopped when she noticed her crowd looked particularly awestruck. Either they were amazed or in disbelief. She had gone up from the company of one to the crowd of four.

Sue Ellen felt she had something to _prove._

"Wanna' see?"

Now that was awkward. But slowly, they all nodded. The desire to see this was unbearable. Sure, everyone's seen those horrible injuries on TV, but here was the chance to see it up close.

Sue Ellen got up from her seat, removed her A.C.U. jacket and draped it on the dining chair she'd been sitting on. She turned around and sat back down with her back facing her audience. Before she lifted her shirt, she stopped. And realized. It was nearly four'o'clock. Nothing had happened. No hallucinations, no flashbacks. Nothing. It had only been one day, but..._Wow._

She slowly lifted the back of the light cotton o-neck. Before the eyes of her crowd emerged a field of of ruptured skin, and straight cuts. Although it healed over time, nothing could hide the clear red streaks that indicated where the leather had fallen. Where the blood had leaked. It was horrific.

For Fern, it was too much. She closed her eyes and covered her face. She didn't want to see anymore.

* * *

**_Yes, the story is thin here, but don't worry, gets better. Or at least, I hope it does.  
_**

**_Also, the A.C.U. is America's army camouflage. Or that's what Wikipedia says.  
_**


	7. Chapter 7

_Hey, senior trials are over. **Sweet...**_

_Don't worry, unlike last time, this one wont be memories._

_**A warning**, please be aware that the next section might be a bit traumatic in terms of loss. Not soppy and emotional, but in terms of describing the mental state someone feels when they are anxious or schizophrenic. Just a warning. It does comprise a large bulk of the story, but its not worth putting yourself in a crying fit just to read a lame story. Don't strain yourself._

_**That was your warning.**_

* * *

Where was she...A hockey game? Felt like it. _Cold, noise, crowd._

She couldn't remember how she got here, but people were all around her. They might have been her friends...She couldn't tell.

_Something felt wrong._

Her fists hurt. Her middle knuckle was bleeding. Her wrists twitched. Her back bled. It was happening.

"Stay away..." She whispered. They could already tell what was wrong. She was freaking out.

"Calm down, your okay"  
_'YOU HAVE A FILTHY MOUTH!'_

"Stay away" Louder this time. Ward them off. The guards. The guards with guns, and Eastern-European accents. Dialect suggests Ukraine, or around that area. Separatists, maybe Ultra-nationalists. Chances of government intervention: Probable.

"Sue Ellen, we're not going to hurt you"  
_'__SPEAK NOW, OR DIE NOW!__'_

"Get away from me" Same pitch. Another try. Get rid of the predator. Get them away. Another entered. A blue uniform. A utility belt, with a gun. _Opportunity._

"She's having a breakdown"  
_'She's a tough bitch'_

"STAY BACK!" She yelled, calling on her power of volume she learned from having explosions going on all around when she wanted to talk.

The torturer came forward. His hands were up, away from his weapon. _Perfect opportunity._ Time slowed as she grabbed his hand and yanked him forward, spinning him around and throwing him down onto the floor. In one swift movement, she'd detained the uniformed one, and earned a weapon. She was ready to engage.

"Sue Ellen!"

_Who was that?_

"Fern?" She asked. Fern appeared. A dirty dark uniform covered her bruised body. She stood amidst a platoon of the dead and wounded. Her friends, her enemies. _She couldn't tell anymore._

She hated this. She screamed out. _Where was everyone? Why couldn't she see them for who they were_?

"Please, stop!" Fern called out again. Her face filled with pity and sorrow to see her friend like this. Fern, Buster, George, Arthur, Francine, Muffy, Binky, Brain, Jenna, and even Prunella. They were all scared for her safety. Behind them, she could see a turnout of just about everyone else. Even Mr. Ratburn had shown up. She could see her mother. But where was...

Another cry of anguish. _What was happening to her?_

She couldn't stand this anymore. She wanted it to end. To end. The gun.  
She backed into a wall. The group followed, trying to talk her down. But her mind was set. No other way out. No other way. To end. The gun. It raised. Her friends backed off, worried for themselves. But then they saw it facing the side of her head. She allowed herself to slide down the wall.

"Sue Ellen, no!"

They begged, but her mind was made. _Please...Make it stop._ She hit the ground, her legs close to her body.

"I want it to stop..." She screamed into the sky "**GOD, MAKE IT STOP**" Her finger tightened, preparing for that nanosecond of pain.

She closed her eyes. Fern turned away. Buster grit his teeth. Everyone closed off their senses. Children watched helpless behind the adults, and the adults stood back. Horrified. Scared. One little boy especially scared that she would leave him _again..._

"I want it to _stop_..._someone_..." She whispered. Someone listen. Listen. _Pull the trigger._

"..._please_..."

**Click.**

**She inhaled sharply.** It took her a moment to recover.

Her bed had clearly been ravaged by her twisting and turning to what was quite possibly the _scariest nightmare_ she had ever had. Sure, memories of past trauma haunted her in her sleep, but this...

This hadn't happened...And hopefully wouldn't. But she didn't know. That's what terrified her, nothing that severe had ever happened to her. _But if it did?_

God, it was so scary. She couldn't help it. She laid back onto bed and stared up at the ceiling. Tears began streaming from her eyes, occasionally being swept away by her hand. Unlike the last time she'd cried, this was raw emotion, not just her 'letting it out'. This was real fear. She was just scared. Scared that she might actually cap herself in the head. Her nose was running, and she moaned like a wounded wildcat.

This was a bit more then just feeling alone. This was feeling scared. _Of everything._

* * *

After the midnight trauma episode, and having had a long day before, Sue Ellen slept in until 9am. A first for her in nearly a month.

When she came to, no one was in the house. Fern and her husband...or partner (Sue Ellen didn't really remember) had gone out somewhere for breakfast...Or brunch. She wasn't quite sure. An educated guess would place Laverne in school leaving Sue Ellen alone in Fern's house, which really made her feel guilty about mooching off her friend. She'd have to find her own place around here soon. _Maybe her parents..._

Her breakfast was relatively Spartan. Toast and butter, with a glass of milk (Which she enjoyed thoroughly when her mind wandered back to the bad ole' days). All she could do was sit at Fern's kitchen counter and watch the wall. An odd strip of reflected light pointed down to an open cabinet. Inside she could read the spines of several binders.

**_Photo's._**

She almost leaped over the counter and yanked the three heavy binders onto the counter. They'd been labeled 'Kids', 'Teens' and 'Family'...with some very extravagant labels...  
A glance around in the Kids binder took her back to her time in fourth grade, all the way up to sixth grade. Of course, there were more photo's of Fern, but she remembered many of the events here. Birthday's, holidays, school performances. _All good._

The second one yielded a more recent and tear jerking memory set. High school and just beyond that. The first few pages were filled with 'My first day' sort of stuff, and after that was just pictures of her with her friends. Sue Ellen appeared much more often in these photos, as by now they had become best friends. Junior days, senior days, graduation...Everyone looked so happy, even she did. The curious look in her eye hadn't faded yet. She was about to browse into family when she grazed past the last page of the binder.

A photo caught her eye. Maybe it was nothing special to others, but it captured her mind for a moment. Fern and Sue Ellen standing next to each other. It was Sue Ellen's graduation from boot camp. There she was in her camouflage fatigues, smiling like she'd won the lotto with a proud little army beret dotting her head. Fern stood next to her, smiling almost as intently.

Perhaps that alone would have meant only memories, but on the back was writing. Fern's distinctive handwriting for poetry.

_There was a silence all around the throne,_  
_Where the saints often trod;_  
_As the soldier waited quietly,_  
_For the judgment of his God._

_Step forward now, soldier,_  
_You've borne your burdens well;_  
_Come walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,_  
_You've served your time in hell_

Surprisingly, she managed to hold back the tears forming in her eyes. Whether Fern had written it or not, it was just an emotional overload waiting to happen. And considering that her mental walls had been broken down, she wasn't too strong at the time.

Then the doorbell rang. It didn't startle her. She just _heard_ it._..This want her house, but its not like she wasn't living here anyway..._  
Usually she'd check the eye hole and ask for a name, but her paranoia was struggling for breath under the newly discovered emotions that she had. It was George.

"Oh, hey Sue Ellen" He was clearly surprised. He had a finely crafted birdhouse under his arm. Sue Ellen put two and two together.

"That for Fern?"

"Yeah, she asked for it a couple days ago"

Sue Ellen lent out and collected it from him. The edges were so smooth she could lick it without getting a splinter. _Damn, George had some sexy-ass hands_. She placed it down behind the door.

"Thanks, I'll tell her you dropped it off"

"Thanks..." He trailed off and even though his body made to leave, his foot remained firm. He had a question that he was too polite to ask.

"Sue Ellen?"

_Oh shit..._Serious tone, hesitation to ask. Not good.  
"Yeah?"

He tried to bite his tongue again.  
"Mind if I ask you a question?"

_Crap, crap, crap, crap_  
"Not at all"

"When me and Fern brought you back up from the school yesterday...You kept saying, Reznov, over and over again..." He rubbed his neck. Sue Ellen could see what was coming.

"You want to know who he was?"

He stuttered a bit "Y-you don't have to tell me, I-I was...just curious"

"Reznov was..." There were a dozen ways to cover it up, several ways to avoid the question, and one way to tell the truth. _Cut the bullshit Sue Ellen. Just say it_ "...My partner...Professionally and personally"

George's eyes widened. He'd gone too deep.

"He was killed last year" Amazingly, her face was stone cold. For the time being, she suppressed the tidal wave of sadness that rolled into her mind. George just sort of stared, with a goofy look on his face. "Anything else?"

"Uh, no, that's fine..." He really just wanted to get out of there. He'd definitely gone way over the top "See ya" He quickly about faced and walked off. He'd always been a nervous one. It was too bad. It would've been nice to talk to him about her past, but this time she'd just have to keep her memories to herself.

Come to think of it, she still had at least ONE bit of toast left...

* * *

_The poem is an extract from a larger poem called 'The Final Inspection'. As a christian thing, i don't really care, but in terms of a military remembrance poem, its beautiful._

_Been thinking of writing another story. Not to do with PTSD though. Just thought i might say._

_And, as per usual, this chapter was rushed, please help correct mistakes in grammar, spelling, chronology, and plot...etc, etc...who am i kidding, no one reads this crap anyway...  
_


	8. Chapter 8

_**So lets get some new chapters up in this botch**_

_**This chapter is a bit longer then normal. Enjoy it. Or don't. Not my problem, your the one who clicked on the link.  
**_

* * *

_Ri-i-i-ng_..._R-i-i-i-ng_...

"Hello?"

"Corporal Gary Taylor?"

"Oh hey Sue Ellen, whats up?"

"Hey, just wondering whats happening on base?"

"Teh, nothing, that's what...They got a new air hockey table" Another voice was heard on the other side of the phone. It sounded inquisitive.

"Whose that?"

"It's pimples, he's try-"

"COME BACK TO BED CORPORAL!"

Teenage enlisted..._They'd jump off a cliff just to see if their luck would make a parachute appear on their back._

"Fuck off pimples...Yeah, new hockey table. Oh yeah, and the CO's having a bitch of a time without you"

"Really?"

"Yep, apparently you were a great example, that we would follow anywhere..." He lowered his voice, possibly to avoid a superior overhearing "_...But frankly we just followed because you had a nice ass_"

As much as she enjoyed hearing her old army friends joke about _'matters of the flesh'_ (As was the unofficial term for it), her break into civilian life brought back the old feminist in her...If only a little. She didn't care anyway. She was just happy to be talking to one of her _OTHER_ old friends.

* * *

After the end of her short update on the base's facilities, Sue Ellen decided to bug out and look for something interesting to do around town. She'd spent her childhood here, so there had to be SOME good memories around here. Before she left, she noticed a letter pinned up onto the fridge door.

_Dear Sue Ellen  
If you go out, could you please deliver this to Lakewood elementary class 6R before eleven in the morning?  
Thank you muchly  
Fern.W_

Good ole' Fern. She always knew how to make Sue Ellen feel needed. On the way, she'd hopefully find something to do.

But it was 10am on a Monday. Children were in school, adults were at work, and couples were out having brunch..._assholes_...  
She kicked a rock on the side walk, venting her frustration on the Earth. It brilliantly skipped right into a massive storm water drain. Even the rocks had somewhere else to be.

Now that was just depressing. Stuff like this made her miss waking up at 0630 in the morning, getting dressed in ACU's and then going to eat breakfast at the chow hall. Nice and organized.

_Civilian life sucked._

_Big time._

* * *

At her brisk pace, she quickly reached the school and entered the grounds. Luckily, the interior hadn't changed...Much. Everything was cleaner, new posters (Some of which were disturbing..._How many sixth graders were getting pregnant?_), more trophies, nice bells, shinier lockers...God, had it really changed this much?  
She figured it would be easier to just hand the envelope into the school's office and let them handle. But as it so happened, during her search for the office (Although she'd spent several years learning here, she'd spent quite a few more years in the army, and away from Elwood entirely. She was a bit fuzzy on direction) she chanced on a door with '**6H**' emblazoned on a poster on its body. It'd be easier to do it this way.

She stepped up to the door. She heard a deep, professional voice speaking inside. Oh Christ, it was a Mr. Ratburn sound alike. She breathed a deep chunk of oxygen. _Here goes **something**._

_Knock, knock_...  
'Come in!'

In she went.  
And so she came face to face with sixteen or so glazed looking eleven-year old's. And several adults...And a gigantic banner that said '**_Careers day_**'.

"Miss Armstrong, I'm glad to see that you made it!"  
The teacher (A pleasant looking young woman) motioned over at the line of seats that held other representatives of the career lines.

She'd been duped..._**AGAIN! SHIT!**_  
But she didn't want to disturb the flow of things. She smiled, mouthed_ 'thank-you' _and quietly proceeded to the nearest empty seat. Right next to the waste disposal guy. He was next. Then Sue Ellen.

As soon as she sat down, she began trying to draft a speech, but her mind was filled with anger at Fern. Not a mental rage that blinded her senses, but a pure, unadulterated version of being extremely miffed. What made her think she wanted to speak to a bunch of kids who probably didn't care what she did on the other side of the planet. And its not like she could've brought in visual aids. Weapon restrictions are pretty tight!  
_Seriously, what the hell?_

What was she thinking?

Did the fucking envelope even HAVE something important in it? She hadn't checked, because she'd trusted Fern enough not to think that she would be _**DUPED INTO MAKING A RECRUITING SPEECH TO A CLASS OF DAMN KIDS!**_

_Goddammit_

_

* * *

_

"Miss Armstrong?"

Her turn. Up she gets. Everyone expected her to start talking about journalism or biology or some other boring woman's job. Her journalist's vest didn't help her appeal, and her shorts just made her look like one of those archaeologists that should be out SOMEWHERE ELSE. They didn't expect much of her.

"Well, lets see..." She looked back at the teacher "How should I start?"

"Your name, what you do, things like that"

She spent a few moments thinking. She still wasn't sure until one kid piped up:  
"Are you a homemaker?"

Of course, his question was genuine. As children, they were curious and a mistake like that could never be mistaken as chauvinism, and she almost liked the idea of being compared to her mother. But the males in the line of chairs all shared a laugh. A mocking laugh. A **MOCKING** laugh. From what she knew of them, they were composed of a sewage truck driver, a photographer, a crane operator, and an accountant (A staple in every careers day). And they were laughing at her.

She smiled. Genuinely "No...uh..."

"Garth"

"No Garth, I'm not a homemaker" She thought for a second more, then turned to the board and grabbed a marker. She began writing.

**_L.T. Armstrong_**

She turned back, and switched her uncertain, broken voice to her strong, officer tone "My name, is First Lieutenant Sue Ellen Armstrong, United States army. I work as a Foreign Internal Defense instructor"

That shut them up. Some of the kids even snapped out of their boredom-glazed moods. _This might be interesting._

"I spent the last year in Europe helping with counter..." The kids might not get insurgency, best just to play off what they know "...terrorism. Right now I'm on a service leave period, just so I can get my head together" Sue Ellen looked back at the teacher. What now?

"Really? What sort of things did you do there?"

"Well..." _Dammit...Cover stories, cover stories...Hmmmmm_ "I helped developing nations train their forces for counter insur- terrorism so that they can fight the enemy, instead of us"  
Man, this shit was a little too serious to be laying down on a sixth graders head. Still, they loved it. So why not humor them?

But her presentation had run dry. Time to wrap it up.

"Questions?"

Nearly half the class shot their hands up.

"Did you ever bite the pin off a grenade"  
_Tried it. Didn't manage it, but all the other recruits thought it was funny as hell._  
"No, your more likely to break your teeth by pulling it out"

"Do they make you do push ups?"  
_Nope, you don't have to...If your an officer._  
"Yep, all the time...Nearly everyday"

"How often do you get to do weapons training?"  
_Well, she did it every Thursday if she could find the time._  
"Pretty often...Mandatory"

"Have you ever kicked in a door?"  
_That's always fun, but usually not._  
"Yep, probably once or twice a month"

"Have you ever killed someone?"  
"Spen!"  
The stereotype question. The stereotype response: _'Sorry cant answer that'_. But as Reznov had always said: _'If you cant be an example, be a warning'_

She looked him dead in the eye "Never in anger, and only in defense"  
The room went silent. They'd thrown everything they could at her. They laughed at her, they quizzed her, they intimidated her, and she'd just handed them their collective asses.

"But none of that is what the army is about...It's about helping people. Your own, and others" She'd sat in on a recruiting officers lecture once. It was quite good "In the army, your expected to be part of an effective team that can problem solve, and if necessary make a decision that could result in another persons life being taken away. Your own or another"  
Maybe a little too metaphorical for them, but they seemed to be getting the gist: **_Army = Good_**

"It's about you being all you can be, for both yourself, and your country"

A visage of that young recruit flashed in her mind. He was only new to fighting, but still knew more then some of the most grizzled veterans there. His courtesy had given her hope when she just wanted to shut herself down entirely...Reznov would've been smiling. Hell, he'd be laughing.

**_Cheeky douche..._**

The fact that the teacher hadn't stopped Sue Ellen was a good sign. However, she could tell when the presentation was over.

"Thank you Miss Armstrong"

* * *

While the other speakers had jobs and cars to go to, Sue Ellen had the time to hang around the school. The teacher invited her to stay for lunch in the teachers lounge, and then maybe discuss another presentation. Sue Ellen always tried to be helpful though.

"Y'know there's a number you can call about getting a recruiter to come make a speech about all that"

"But they wouldn't have the same connection as you did with them...Your a resident - You grew up here!" She opened the teacher's lounge door for Sue Ellen "And besides, they say that a class careers day is _'too minor'_"

She rolled her eyes "That sounds like the army"

She'd never really had a good look at the teachers lounge, but the moment she entered she felt intimidated by the openness of the room. Furniture was neat, but very sparse. Apparently the teachers didn't come in here that often...

"Sue Ellen?"

Old. Authority. Wisdom..._No way!_

"Mr. Ratburn?

_No, frigging, way!_

She hadn't seen him since...Well, since she'd left for boot camp! He'd clearly aged. But not too much. Still, she decided it was best if she walked over to him.

"I'm glad to see your back on the home front"

Sue Ellen dismissively sighed "Fingers crossed...Your still teaching?"

"Oh no, I'm the principal"

_**M**I**N**D **F**U**C**K_ "I thought Herb- Mr. Haney was still principal?"

"Oh no, he took over as groundskeeper when our last one quit. He still commands a bit of power around here"

_That explains George..._

"Mister Ratburn, I just wanted to know if Sue Ellen could come back and talk to the students a bit more on world culture"

_World culture...Right..._

"Of course Miss Macdonald, if its okay with Sue Ellen?"

Maybe. Speaking to children wasn't exactly how she wanted to spend her leave...Not with these children at least..._Wait. Macdonald?_

"Macdonald...As in Molly Macdonald?"

"No...Macdonald as in Missus Kayley Macdonald, James Macdonald's wife"

Sue Ellen barely knew the family, but was certainly acquainted with James and Molly. Not under social circumstances or friends of friends. Professionally. James Macdonald was a member of the 1st cavalry division. Scout. They'd met at an army recruitment lecture, and maintained a decent acknowledgment of the other.

"Of course I'll do it"

"Good, I'll call you next week"

...

..._Next week?

* * *

_

After a quick steal of a sandwich in the teachers lounge, Sue Ellen figured that she'd find more interesting stuff to do outside of school. As much as she enjoyed talking to her old primary teacher, time had passed and he was more of a fuzzy memory then a rat with a well trimmed whiskers.

She checked her watch once back on the sidewalk. _11:59am_.

This was a good part of the day. It was warm, and sunny, and usually clear. She didn't mind the idea of staying out, walking around town. Not to mention that, as much as she liked Fern, she hated being around her **and** her partner...Whatever his name was. Both of them were nice, but lately she just had a thing against PDA's. _Cooties..._

She figured it would be nice to walk to her parents house and have a chat with them. And maybe tell them where she'd been for the last year...

On her way from the school she passed numerous memories. Francine's old apartment bloc...the Animal Shelter...The uh, hospital?  
There actually wasn't that much in the way of memories, but something new pervaded the usual green grass.

Concrete and bronze.

Across the road from the hospital's traffic circle was...medium or so...A bronze pair of army boots. And a bayonet and rifle sticking into a concrete pedestal, with a helmet of similar design connected in place on top. Finely carved into the front of the cement was a very familiar poem.

_There was a silence all around the throne,_  
_Where the saints often trod;_  
_As the soldier waited quietly,_  
_For the judgment of his God._

_Step forward now, soldier,_  
_You've borne your burdens well;_  
_Come walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,_  
_You've served your time in _**SHITSTORM**

The last word had been graffiti-ed out in a loud and disrespectful red. Almost crimson. _The color of the martyr...The color of the courageous. _

_Someone had to **pay.**_

The culprits however had left the memorial to stand there, desecrated by a bunch of fucking kids. A memorial that was dedicated to the kids who grew up and died in a desert somewhere, alone, and without their own memorial to screw up.

She'd tear their heads off. If they tried talking back to her, she'd rip out their tongues and use them to wipe the memorial clean. Then she'd clean up some dog poo with them, just to prove to them that they really did just _talk shit._

First though, she needed to get the paint off...No point in defending a dirty statue.

_

* * *

_

**The idea for the memorial in there is from _Brighton Hills Cemetery _memorial. I saw it on the net. Originally I was gonna make it a mural, but then I saw it and was just like "Hek yea, that goes in the story"**

**WTF is a traffic circle? pretty sure its called a roundabout mate  
**

**PDA = Public Display of Affection**

_**Readers, be aware = I am not in the US army, so I probably don't have all my facts straight, and in real life, I doubt someone would say that they basically work in special ops to a bunch of children. And especially not that they killed someone. Just saying.**_

_**And the usual...spelling and grammar, spot check...etc, etc.**_

_**

* * *

**_

_**And something else...  
I've been thinking of writing another Arthur story. Would anyone like that? No PTSD, more of an Arthur environment. Don't message me or anything, just click on my profile thing, top left and load the page.**__** That's it. No voting or crap like that.**__** Visiting my page will count as a visitor hit. That will serve as an indicator of how many people would want to see it, cos at the moment, its like 'Who knows?'. From there, we'll see what happens.  
**_

_**May the force be with you.  
**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**So here's the next chapter.  
**_

_**Everyone say hooray!**_

_**...  
**_

* * *

_"I take it the doc's patched you up pretty well?"_

_..._  
_He wrote something down._  
_"How are you feeling?"_

_She looked up " -the fuck do you think I'm feeling?"_

_More note taking._  
_"I can understand why...I don't think I need to tell you he'll be missed..."_

_She lowered her head. Her lip shivered a bit "Did they find the body?"_

_A pause. He didn't want to tell her._  
_"No"_

_Optimism "Then there's a chance...Right?"_

_Another pause. This time he didn't answer. The futility was obvious, but she desperately didn't want to believe it. She wanted it to be a lie. Just another lie..._  
_Her head violently drooped. She shook her head and mashed her lips together. She held in a sob, blockading the emotion. She'd had enough of this shit._

_"I want to quit"_

_Captain Marlow looked up at her "Pardon?"_

_"I want out"_

_As a CO, he knew he had to do everything in his power to preserve his unit's capacity to do its job. Sue Ellen was too important to let go without a bitter fight._

_"I suggest you take some time to think about this...Don't rush into things"_

_She flinched at the thought of it._

_"How about this...I'll let you have three months service leave, beginning whenever you want in the next week. At the end of it, you come back, tell me where you want to be in life, and we'll work from there?"_

_This was getting pathetic "...Your bargaining now?"_

_"Yes Armstrong, I am"_

_Well, it was essentially three months of paid vacation. No duties unless the world was about to end. Metaphorically (Possibly Literally)._

_"Fine, that'll do"_

_"Good, I'm glad to hear it..." The officer slipped a copied sheet out of one of his many wooden drawers, and quickly filled it in. He slid it over to the other end of the desk, along with his pen. Sue Ellen hastily obliged._

_'Anything to get the hell out of here'_

* * *

The last speck of red disappeared from the inscription. Fern's delicate hands returned the brush back to the bucket.  
"Thanks Fern"

She shrugged "Its the least I can do to help out, those kids have been wrecking things all around town"

"What kids?"

Fern tilted her head to follow her eyes. 9'o'clock, standing behind the hospital in the visible distance. Four...Maybe five. Could be anywhere from fifteen years old to twenty-one. They seemed intent on staring at the monument, while trying to maintain an inconspicuous image.

"Are they the ones that did it?"

"Probably...They've done a lot of stuff around here. Police keep coming up dry though" Fern sighed. She was tired "Do you want a lift?"

Sue Ellen stared at them for a moment longer, studying them "Sure"

Fern was independent enough to have her own car. And more so, to operate it effectively. It was small, but more cozy then tiny. Sue Ellen liked it, but felt that it reminded her too much of a sniper hide (No further questions had been asked about that particular point). Regardless though, it was a nice car, and always smelled nice.  
"Y'know, the mayor dedicated that thing the day your story got published"

"Really?" In one of her letters to Sue Ellen in boot camp, Fern had informed her that a special article had been typed up by Bitzi in the paper about 'their own warrior woman'. Fern still had the text and picture with it. It had been the picture taken of Sue Ellen in her full combat uniform, while she was out on a patrol with her platoon.

"Yep, said it was dedicated to 'all serving members'"

"Pffft, kiss ass" She'd seen corny attempts at thanking vets, but that took it to a whole other level.

"At least we we're thinking about you" Fern kidded

As the engine started, Sue Ellen noted a lone head contrasting against the hospital's bright white corner. She kept watching as Fern began down the road. The head became a body, whose trajectory seemed focused on the monument. Sue Ellen lightly tapped Fern.  
"Pull into the next street please"

Fern, although new to the taxiing business, was aware of Sue Ellen's tendency to be commandeering at times. Usually though, it wasnt too hard to appease her. The car gracefully pulled into the street and slowed next to the curb. Sue Ellen was already out the door.  
"I'll be back in a minute"

Fern wanted to stop her, but knew she could only watch as Sue Ellen prepared to let loose on some poor kid.

* * *

Sue Ellen could already see him pulling the can out of his pack. He seemed to be checking the color. She was about ten meters away. The perfect distance to scare the hell out of him. A deep breath in.  
**"HEY!"**

He looked up. _Deer in the headlights._  
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING?"

Perhaps hoping to defer his judge and jury, he pointed at himself in confusion.  
"YES, YOU!"

Now she was right in his face. The hood and lack of sunlight obscured his face very well, but she could tell he looked nervous and jumpy. This may have been his initiation dare. Well, it was time to set the record straight. The can he had withdrawn was slapped out of his hand with a loud clang and landed dead center of the road.  
"Don't ever do that" Her tone was hostile, but not loud. She wanted to scare him, but yelling would spark aggression at this distance. He seemed to take this as a chance to look away. Sue Ellen snatched his head back.  
"HEY, why don't you open your ears for second?" She caught his eyes and held onto them "There are a lot better things you can do then fucking up war memorials"

Footsteps. _3'o'clock_. Fast pace, walking. Aggressive nature. Backup? _Most likely._  
Her peripherals caught the glint of weapon metal quickly moving towards her. She swung out and caught the knife hand.  
The other resisted the grip. He was a strong boy, probably worked out.

But Sue Ellen was a strong woman, and definitely worked out. She applied pressure and forced the weapon away.

For many, this would be the turning point. One had been defeated, so now they part ways.

But Sue Ellen had been trained to see only death as defeat. The adrenaline pumping through her clouded out her reason. The knife became part of her. It wanted what she wanted, and she wanted what it wanted. Her instinct and reflexes took over.

* * *

_She inhaled deeply. The breath carried with it the smell of her blood. And another. A soldier, female, nineteen maybe? She was a member of the resistance...The bad guys. They'd met in an abandoned bunker. She'd moved too fast for Sue Ellen to nail her to the wall with a round._  
_Rifles had been discarded or disarmed from the other. Now all they had was their main weapon. Them self._

_She was charged again. This time she knew the pattern. Charge, butt, kick, throw._  
_The charge was dodged, the butt halted, the kick blocked and the throw reversed. Now it was her enemy that was on the ground. Sue Ellen pressed the advantage, withdrawing her blade and diving onto her attacker. But she was still alive and packed a living resistance._

_But she was weak...Inexperienced. Trained in endurance marching and shooting, not extreme conditioning and knife play. The knife slowly closed in on its target, drooling for the flesh it seeked to bite into._

_Sue Ellen's eyes went cold. She stared straight into the other girl's eyes..._

_She was crying._

**_"SUE ELLEN!"_**

She knew her name. Wait, how did she...?  
She...She was a he. Not a militia member, but a skulking teenager.

He was afraid. The tables had been turned, and he was confronted with someone who might actually kill him. Someone who was trying. Sue Ellen had a knife pressed to his throat. She wanted to press in the point. She slowly tried to force it in, but something held it back. Some sane part of her mind yanked back the thin steel blade. The dull shine hurried her on, longing to sample the teenager's throat.

Suddenly, her hatred dissipated. She saw where she was. Who he was. Why they were. She loudly scoffed and threw the knife into the gutter in a release of anger. She stomped off, towards Fern, the one person she trusted now. Back to the car. _They wouldn't follow her._

* * *

The car ride was silent. Almost threatening. Sue Ellen disarmed and nearly killed the young hoodlum. But it wasn't the violence of action that scared Fern, it was the grace. There wasn't any hesitation, or pausing, or calculation. Before Fern had even seen the knife, Sue Ellen had it in her possession. She wondered, how many other people had Sue Ellen plunged a knife into? She didn't want to ask, but it was honestly scaring her to have someone that could kill her without blinking in the seat next to her.

"Sue Ellen?"

"I didn't mean to...It was instinct" Was the hasty response. She sounded hazy. An overreaction?

"No...Sue Ellen..." The car pulled over again. A residential street. Lights were on in every window "How...did..." Fern didn't know how to ask. She wasn't even sure what she wanted to ask. She just wanted to try and figure out how Sue Ellen could go on with life. The trauma itself was bad enough, but being so capable of killing anyone around her?  
"How do you..."

"Live with myself?"

Poor old Fern. She was never blunt. She was no expert at getting to the point. She just didn't want to be rude.

"After I've killed people?"

Sue Ellen did not suffer from that problem.

"I _don't_"

Fern looked up. She'd never seen such lonely eyes. Cold, misty, unfocused eyes.

_**Marines call it that 2,000 yard stare...**_

_**

* * *

**__One shot. It sat there in front of her. Staring back at her. It was very shiny._

_"Are you gonna' drink it or not?"_

_She gave the bartender a deadly look. She preferred not to drink. It wasn't the lifestyle that worried her, but she just hated the way liquor tasted. Too bitter. Really dry. But lately, ever since...Yeah, she wanted to give it a go. See if it lived up to capacity to make you forget. To fill the gap._

_She grasped the tiny glass in her callused fingers. She looked down into it. She wasn't sure what it was, but from what she'd seen, it might've been rum. It was brown and transparent. Whatever.  
Here it comes._

_Swing back._

_**Gah!** That tastes like crap!_

_Most of it went down. The last drop was violently rejected in a spray of spittle onto the adjacent bar stool._

_"Pfft, typical woman..." Was muttered under someone's breath._

_"WHO SAID THAT?" She yelled. No one answered. They either thought she was insane, or drunk. One stood out amongst the rest. Male, late twenties, burly, sloppy beard. Too dirty to be a typical biker, too clean to be a junkie. Just some fucking run of the mill Joe-jack off who thought because he worked eight hours a day hard labor he controlled the whole goddamn world, and could judge whoever he wanted. Well, she had a surprise for him._

_"That's what I figured, pussy" Aggravate, create aggression. He'll either attack, chicken out, or laugh again. The attack could be easily detected, his size assured that. Chickening out would give her the victory she wanted, and if he laughed again, she would pick up on it.  
He laughed._

_**Bingo** motherfucker._

_She looked up at the bartender "How much does one of those glasses cost?"_

_He could see the violence brewing, but decided not to intervene. She looked pissed off, and his mother had always taught him to be courteous to ladies.  
"I buy them in packs of twenty for five bucks"_

_She withdrew a ten from her wallet. Vengeance was priceless.  
"This'll cover it"_

_"Don't you go and start a fight in my bar"_

_She nodded. A lie. She got up from the stool and turned. His face still had a smug grin on his face. Probably talking about what he'd like to do to her. Fuck face. His seat was directly between her and the door. Perfect.  
A few steps and he glanced at her from the corner of his eye. Nothing important, probably just checking out her tits. Luckily, she was wearing her lucky fingerless gloves today. Without him noticing, she raised a hammer fist above her head and brought it down onto of the thin glass, spilling the contents all over the tipsy asshole. He seemed shocked she could do such a thing._

_"Still funny?"_

_Once she exited, she chuckled to herself, while subtly rubbing the part of her hand that had got an edge full of the glass fragments._

_She was a career soldier, but she was a woman for life._

_

* * *

_They finally pulled into Fern's driveway. The lights on inside indicated life. They were both desperate to talk to someone else. But before Fern could get out, Sue Ellen grabbed her shoulder.

"Fern..." She looked guilty "Can I ask you something?"

"I guess it is your turn" They both smiled

"If...If after you gave birth to Laverne, you never got the chance to see her again for most of her life...Then you see her again, but your a whole different person...What do you say?"

An odd question. There had to be a point "You mean, for six years?"

"Five" She answered. _A little too quickly._

She was probably concerned about what they thought of her. Time for some good ole' reassurance.  
"Sue Ellen...We never expected you to come home a hero..." Bad phrasing "I mean, we never needed to see you come back as the new role model for all girls..." Good, good "...We all understood that you might need some time to recover"

She reached over and patted her shoulder. She felt cold.  
"Your strong Sue Ellen...every part of you"

The climate in the car warmed. A general sense of contentedness filled the space.

"You didn't answer the question..."

To the point. That was Sue Ellen.

"I'd say _'thank god we're both here to enjoy this moment'_"

Thank god for friends like Fern.

"Why didn't you become a poet?"

"The police needed me a tad more then the artistic community"

Fern went for the door handle again, feeling that last input wrapped up the chapter_...I mean_ conversation. But Sue Ellen reached out again and held her back. As much as she was a polite person, Fern was being pushed to her limit for being polite. Anymore of this and she would be almost annoyed.

...

"I have a six year old son"

Surprise. Sheer surprise. Not even Fern was ready for it.

_"Shhhh-ugar"_

* * *

_**HOT DAMN, surprise ending for this chapter.  
No, unfortunately it doesn't really matter that much. I just like the idea that Fern's a coppa, or detective. whatever.**_

_**Yep, we're nearing the end. don't worry, another chapter or so and you'll finally be free. FREE!  
FREEEEEEEEEEE-DOOOOOM!**_

_**And, as per usual, please do your own peek around for grammar and spelling errors. If there are any, please speak up.  
**_


	10. Chapter 10

**'Sup?**

new chapter. Been a while, yeah. HSC is damn hard. Shut up. That and this chapter was SPECIFICALLY hard. Had to find a way to put it without Sue Ellen sounding like a whinger. Which she aint. She's hardcore. She's one tough POS. And mama. She a tough mama trucker.

Or, she's just hardcore. She shits bricks.  
I dont know, I'm tired. Its 0130 here.

* * *

_She'd asked herself how she could've done this. Something so cruel. And dont think **YOU** know how cruel this is, you dont know anything._

_She knew. This world. This was no place to create something. To raise something. To teach it to live and enjoy life. There was nothing to enjoy here. In this time, on this planet._

_And yet here she was, straining to get up the stairs she'd gotten up before. The tactical room had closed for the night and she'd stayed late. Pregnant she may be, she had to keep working. Else wise she'd get turfed back to her home city, and she wasnt ready to lay down and pop it out. Not just yet. She still had a good two months till the thing was due. So the doctors said. Unreliable fuckers._

_They'd told her that she didnt need to stay, but she was too strong willed and bull-headed. That was just her, and they pretty much knew her answer before they asked her. But now though, she was questioning whether she should stay or not. Not just here, but **HERE**, in the service._

_Was it worth the risk? This was a child. A child. A young piece of clay. If something (God forbid) happened to her or Reznov, who would mold him into bricks and make a wall out of him? Who would shape his spine? Who would build his confidence? Who would MAKE him a strong man?_  
_The military was a hard concept to force on children. Especially active duty. And the worst thing that could happen would be that both of them die and he becomes the epitomy of all superhero movie. Parents gone. Life screwed._

_No. She couldnt do that. But she wouldnt leave the service...So she just wouldnt die._

_Pain was a different matter though, these stairs were a serious fucking pain._

_That child would have a really long road ahead of it...In this world._

* * *

Fern meant to ask again. Her timidity restrained her, but the curiousity took over.  
"So...What happened?"

Of course she wasnt talking about the birth. It had been carried out smoothly, with a language rating of only MA. But where was he? The child prodigy of proud Sue Ellen?

She paused. A strange mix of guilt and confusion seemed to distill in her.  
"He was put in foster care after about four weeks. Last thing they wanted was a kid on base. He's been moving around the U.S for the past couple years. I got to see him every month or so with Reznov..." She stopped. Not in mid-setence, but pre. She was about to continue, but stopped. She wasnt sure.

"Go on" Fern encouraged, hoping Sue Ellen wouldnt see through her subtle attempt to force the story on.

"With Reznov gone, and me on three month leave...I figured I'd bring him here..." She looked up at Fern "He's arriving here in a day or two"

Talk about a plot twist...

Fern didnt care though. She smiled and leant forward "Thats great!"

Sue Ellen didnt share the feeling. Fern noticed "Whats wrong?"

"I havent seen him for nearly a YEAR Fern...At that, I've only spent maybe three-hundred hours with him..." She counted. How impressive "Thats about twenty-five-thousand less hours then most parents"

Now THAT, was impressive. And Sue Ellen wasnt usually a math person. It was probably hard for her not to count the hours.

"I doubt he'll be confused about who you are"

"Well...Yeah, but I mean as in, I've never taken care of him Fern! I dont KNOW him! And chances are he barely knows me...Y'know, I FORGOT his middle name yesterday"

"That hardly counts for much Sue Ellen...A name doesnt really mean that much"

"But thats all I have of him!" This was true. During operations and on specific occasions, she wasnt allowed to carry any personal items besides indiscriminate objects or anything that couldnt be used to identify someone. That was basic protocol.

"I...I just..." She paused. She lowered her tone. This ashamed her. Everything about it "I dont know how to be a mother"

Fern opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She had nothing. Nothing to say. Sue Ellen was right.  
She'd probably done and seen more then Fern would hear about in her whole life. And now that she was back, all she could hear or see was what she'd done. To others most likely.  
Fern closed her mouth again. Regroup. Try again. Think dammit, think.

Sue Ellen could see what Fern was trying to do. Comfort her. Help her. Not the bullshit you normally get from veteran parades, but something you could interact with. She let her think. And she didnt ask the questions that would force her to answer the information sensitive questions. She didnt ask why Sue Ellen hadnt told them she was pregnant, or where he'd lived.

"Well your not alone" A sympathetic smile appeared on Fern's face "Everyone here is willing to help"

The notion eased Sue Ellen's mind a bit, but not much..._But a bit._

* * *

_How many years had she been doing this?_

Maybe a decade or so? _She couldnt tell anymore..._

_Her heart was thumping against every other internal organ she had. Taking fire in a cramped Arabian marketplace could do that. Especially when everyone around you was screaming at you to do something._  
_**"WHAT NOW LIEUTENANT? WHAT NOW?"**_

God, her life had become clouded by the memories of war, and battle...hate and conflict...

_It was hard as shit to sprint in sand. And all for one damned bunker? Well, apparently it was blocking a tank unit. So it had to go. She hit the wall pretty hard. Team behind her. She nudged back, they nudged forward. No door to kick in, so it was all clear to enter. She raised her sights and moved in._

Everything sort of ran together. Firefight in the sand, contact in the jungle, mission in a crippled nationstate.

_One shot. All she had. One shot. Plenty of ammo, sure. But all she had was one shot. Kill the bad guy. Sniper. Holding up civillian evacuation. Cant let that happen. Have to protect the innocents._

Really. It got old... Where did it end? These seemed to go on..._Where was highschool graduation? Where was primary school? Where was preschool? Where were the travels? Where was her life? Friends? Family? Love? Children?_

_Jesus Christ_, was war all she knew? Why the fuck had she done this stupid shit anyway? _**See the world?  
**_Yeah, she'd seen the goddamn world. Seen nothing but the shitty parts of it. The places where the post-modern movies were based. You know. _Everyone dies. No hero. Everyone's the villain. The end. Goodnight._

Whereever a child was born, there was a civil war to make them a child soldier. Whereever there was oil, there were nationstates ready to kill over it. Whereever there was love, there was another Trojan horse waiting to get built.

And all she could ever do, to stop it...Was **kill.** That was her _**'job'**_.

And what could she do beside that?

**Lie.** That's all she could officially do.

And it had left her just that.

A **lie**.

She opened her eyes. She hadnt been sleeping. She hadnt been dreaming. She'd just been laying there, waiting to fall asleep. Or **die**.

No, she couldnt die. Not when she had a son. A child. Not when she had something to protect. A **_reason_** to survive. Sure, she had friends, but they were a reason not to regret life. This child was a reason to stay alive. To protect him. To teach him. To make sure he knew about the world.

And to keep her sane. And alive.

* * *

First off, I apologise to anyone who was offended.

But that's all I will say. Because frankly, the chapter speaks for itself. Put simply: through the eyes of someone who has experienced some of the worst things the world has to offer, her original curiosity and love for the world has been squished under the bitterness. To her the world is fucked. And it aint gonna change.  
Indeed. That was my explanation.

As per usual, mistakes -_grammar, semantics, wording, etc_- indicate please. Thank you.

Reason for lateness: **HSC, Year 12 Formal, chillaxin**


	11. Chapter 11

_**Hey, an update! Its a christmas miracle!**_

_**Gettin' close...**_

* * *

Talking never helped anyone. _Speech only incited anger and passion. Anger creates hate. Passion creates violence of action. Hate and violence create death..._  
Isnt that what Yoda said? _Meh._

"Sorry I didnt tell you before"

Apologies though...They went a long way. Her father patted her shoulder. He felt a hug would be too feminine for her. In truth, she'd come back manlier then anyone he knew.

"When will he be arriving?"

"About twenty five hours...ten thirty tomorrow"

"Sue Ellen, have you put any thought into where your going to stay?"

Damn. Her mum had a good point.

"Well, I suppose I could pull some stuff out of Reznov's insurance..." According to them, he had been killed in a weapon discharge mishap "Are there any houses out here for sale?"

Her parents eyed each other, but quickly came back to the conversation.

"Just like that? Dont you want to see other places?"

His question provoked a harsh glare. Perhaps undeserving, perhaps not. He realised his mistake a subtely nodded to show he understood how stupid he was.  
What hadnt she seen? _Besides a man eat his own head..._

"What he means is that its a bit sudden to just force down roots here"

"But I like it here, thats why I came back. Your here, they're here, and soon...HE'LL be here"

"Are you sure Sue Ellen? I mean, this is a pretty big step, buying a house and what not" Her mother gently laid her hand on Sue Ellen, reestablishing a connection they'd both been missing for too long "Are you really sure?"ff

"Trust me..." She winced. She'd said this so many times before. The only difference... "It'll be fine" This time she **_sort of _**meant it.

* * *

"Okay...Back in highschool, I thought she was a lesbian"

Laughter. For some reason everyone lost control because Francine thought she was gay. Arthur laughed. Buster laughed. Fern Laughed. Sue Ellen was ready to snap her fucking neck.

"You thought we were both lesbians..." Fern piped up. More laughter, but this time it sounded more directed at Francine rather then at what was said. That had been an interesting week..._back in the day._

Sue Ellen remained silent. And concealed. Ten or so years ago, she would have intervened two or three sentences back. But now...Well, yeah, she'd changed.  
Originally, the plan was for her to meet Fern in the park. But she'd arrived early and taken residence behind a humongous tree. Which was of course quite adjacent to the bench Fern had picked to wait on. As if fate had set it to occur, the terrible trio -Baxter Big ears, Four eyes and Miss Ripped America (She remembered their highschool names...That was probably a good thing)- had arrived.

Fern was always lovely to talk to (Even though she was not very talkative herself), and they hadnt passed up the opportunity.

Sue Ellen had decided to wait. And see where it would go. Despite her proximity to the chatter boxes, she remained unidentified. Probably because she had finally managed to wash and iron a new set of clothes.

"And now look at her...I bet she could beat you in an arm wrestling match Frannie"

An audible hit was detected. Arthur had crossed the line in both strength estimation and naming rights.

"Unlikely..." A simple response.

"I dont know...You remember when she...y'know"

"Her back?"

"How messed up was that?"

Silence. _It was messed up_. A slight itch slithered across her back, but she remained still.

"I guess she went through a lot"

_Damn right._

"It changed her"

"No duh"

Silence again. _It had changed her._

"Its weird..." A pause. Gain attention "I figured that if anyone would ever become famous, it would be Sue Ellen"

"Why?"

"I dont know. She always leapt into things, always knew about the world, understood it...y'know?"

"Now she's changed"

Silence again. Whether or not it was true, she left that to the winds. _She didnt care._

"For better or worse?"

"Worse" Fern piped up. Her second statement in the entire conversation "But she's getting better"

_Yeah. She was._

_

* * *

_

_Heheh, Team America reference.  
__Short, yes. I apologise. There wasnt much to write about for this one. Just had to progress the story on._

If its any consolation, this should mean that the next chapter will be a bit easier to write.

Yay for you guys.

Oh, and seeing as you do not have an actual account, if you happen to be reading 'Liv' (As you have chosen to name yourself), I plan to reveal that in the very last chapter.

**Dun dun dun**


	12. Chapter 12

_Took some time to write this one. Lots of ideas, nothin to connect them. You get the idea. My mind was in the gutter a fair bit. Cant have that in a T story._

Enjoy.

**An edit has been made since this chapters publication**, thanks to a well-eyed reviewer who notified me that a certain chunk of this story was slightly incomplete. _Kudos to you comrade!_

* * *

She'd emerged from her hide...Well, she'd gotten up from the tree and pretended that she'd just woken up. How silly of her. Everyone laugh. _Simple._

"So you figured out where your staying yet?"

"Fern said she'll help with that" Sue Ellen eyed Fern, just to check if she WAS still helping her. A subtle nod kept the confidence in her.  
Arthur tried to subtely nudge Buster. _Something was up_. Sue Ellen made it evident she was curious.

"Hey Sue Ellen...I was just wondering-" _Oh god._ What was he about to ask. He hesitated. She hated when there was hesitation. Hesitation...It was important and possibly embarassing for him. Arthur had to nudge him...Masculine encouragement..._Oh no_. Was he going to ask her out? She wasnt ready for that. Buster was her childhood friend, not a goddamn romantic interest. Christ, she'd only just begun to truly bury Reznoz. Now she had to deal with this?

She'd say no. No matter how he looked. No matter how desperate, sweet, kind, funny or nice it was, she'd-

"Y'know how they make you do pushups? Do you have a record?"

_**...**_

"...Uh...Yeah, its two hundred in twenty minutes" _Hard to forget. She'd nearly fainted._ Buster's face still lit up though. He must've thought he still posed a challenge "With situps and jumping jacks" His head drooped a little, morale sagged. Sue Ellen felt her cruelty egg her on "In uniform and one hundred and seventy pound pack" _And with drill instructor's screaming in your face._..

"Damn...I only ever managed to do thirty!"

"That says something, doesnt it fatty" Francine jibed at Buster. The group laughed as the two started exchanging childish insults. Sue Ellen had to reach into her memory to pull off her 'Fake-real-laugh'...Not because she was depressed. She was happy Buster hadnt asked her that he wasnt cool. He was funny. _But y'know. Wouldnt work..._

_Well...No, yeah._

"Oh yeah, hey Buster, is that grid iron game still on?"

Sue Ellen's interest peaked "Grid iron?"

"Yeah, we were gonna' play it in the park later today"

"Can I join?" Then she realised that she was back in civillian world. Men were either disgusting or heroic, and women were materialistic or wholesome. Blurred lines with hard restrictions.  
Buster and Arthur eyed each other. They werent totally sure.  
"Well...I guess that should be alright...You've played before?"

She'd played against a team of heavy-set marines and brickhouse slavic's before. She could probably handle suburban meatheads "Just here and there, but I really enjoy it"

"Well...Maybe"

Francine jumped in with her typical defiant "Why not?" instantly off-balancing any defense they had.

"No reason, she can" Buster quickly leapt to Arthur's defense, preventing another embarassing 'Stop-hitting-yourself' scenes from occuring. _Three times in the last year..._  
Sue Ellen smiled her thanks to Francine. As much as the two seemed rivals, it was nice to see Francine stick up for her once in a while. After the conversation broke off, Sue Ellen made a point to thank her.

"Hey Francine" She'd made sure to wait until everyone else was out of earshot "Thanks for sticking up for me"

"Its fine, its the least I can do-..." She seemed to cut herself off. Sue Ellen was curious.

"You ok?"

"Yeah...I just...I just dont know how to put it" Francine had a big heart (Which seemed to be standard kit to all muscleheads). Her empathy could surprise people, and it often got the better of her "...I'm so sorry you had to go through that"

"Through what?" Memory snapped back "Oh...Yeah"

"I dont know how people could do such terrible things to other people"

"Yeah..." Only terrible people would "-terrible"

* * *

_A light splash of freezing cold water was all that was needed. Conciousness returned._

_"WAKE UP. I NEED YOU AWAKE FOR THIS" _

_A huge sweeping motion above. As if god had sent them himself, two huge steel nails impaled his thighs. The blood trickle was hardly noticeable, but this was the least of his worries. _

_A another punch was delivered to his temple. The aching pain was immense and took over every sensation in his body. _

_"WHERE IS THE SOYUZ STATION?" _

_Before he could utter out another word, his groin was suddenly compressed into his pelvis. Boot? Fist? It didnt matter. It hurt. His lunch from yesterday came out through his mouth and unto the floor. He stayed silent. Just like he'd been trained. _

_"We have all week to do this!" _

_MOre like two days. _

_"WHERE IS IT?" Louder that time. They were either worried, or very, very angry "IF YOU DONT WANT TO END UP LIKE YOUR COMRADE THERE, I SUGGEST YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND LET MORE THEN JUST SCREAMING COME OUT!"_  
_A casual sideglace revealed a somewhat less lively captive tied to a chair with what looked like chunky cranberry sauce dripping out of the back of his head. They were serious. But the difference between the two was that the dead one hadnt known a thing...poor bastard. _

_"Got something to say?" _

_Defiant. That's how he'd go. He uttered out "Amerikanskaya shlyuha" _

_"Whore?" She leant down into his face, inviting any amount of saliva to be launched at her "Who-re?"_  
_Her hand propelled around to the back of his head and grabbed his short, sweaty hair. She screamed in his face "WHORE?" _

_"L.T, he's not responding to it" _

_She glared at him for a few moments, then yanked him back and his chair fell back onto the floor. _

_"Then we'll make him" She stepped back and nodded to her compatriot "Try not to scream, whore" _

_A light mechanical click was heard, and then the screaming began. The nails were connected to the main power board. Every single volt that flowed into the derelict house, flowed through him first. His pain was immense. But no one cared. _

_He never talked. Not when they turned up the voltage. Not when she beat him some more. And not when she put a bullet in the back of his head. _

_The mission was ultimately aborted. _

_

* * *

_

The males were assembling. Nearly time for the game to begin.

It would be interesting to see how they reacted. She was a woman of course. To them: Lips, legs, breats and ass (As her 2IC had kidded her). But they all knew her as the tough one, rivalled only by Francine (But she played soccer, so that somehow evened it out). Hell, Buster sounded like he was reliving a nightmare when Sue Ellen had told him that she'd basically mopped the floor with his record.

George arrived. The teams were about to be sorted. Time to roll up.  
Casual, just look casual. Hands in pockets. Look around. Nice and easy. In the distance, Francine and Jenna were kicking a ball around (Who saw that coming). Stress melted away. Finally, she could play a nice easy game of...

_Oh god, what are they doing... _

Pushups. **goddamn pushups**.

_Your kidding me._

"Ha! I could totally beat that"

_Well, too late to walk away now. _

Arthur was on the ground trying to force the grass and dirt away. Apparently, he couldnt. All that time spent learning to teach must've made him soft.  
"Here she is!"

Everyone looked inward. Sue Ellen had snuck into a spot between George and Binky. And it was exactly opposite to Buster. He spotted her, and now everyone had their eyes on her.

"What?" This place smelled like a testosterone pit.

"Two hundred in twenty minutes? Yeah right" Binky's attempted taunt failed. He'd lost it too (Not that he'd ever managed to crack her...).

"Dude, with a mouth like yours I bet you could suck a golfball through a garden hose"

_**Snap.**_ She was rewarded with a laugh from everyone.

"They teach you that in the army, or did they just give you a sex change for free?" Binky added, perhaps trying to make up for lost dignity.

"Binky...How tall are you?"

Thrown off, his honesty came in to cover his lack of comebacks "I dunno...six foot something?"

"SIX FOOT? I DIDNT KNOW THEY STACKED SHIT THAT HIGH"

Years ago, during her first ever deployment Sue Ellen had been stationed at a base that had been recently mortared. While no casualties were taken, the morale had severly sagged. The mess tent had taken a hit, and with it went the entire $100 collection of Comedy reels, old war movies and cheap porn. Sue Ellen made it priority to ask her parents to send her one of her movies from home.

For three weeks straight, Full Metal Jacket played twice a day in the mess tent. Although repetitive, Sue Ellen earned their respect.

But she didnt have time to quote R. Lee Ermey all day. It was time for football.  
"I thought we were gonna' be playing football?"

The others were surprised at first, but Buster took the show.

"You sure you wanna' do this Sue Ellen, I mean..." He let out a casual laugh. Y'know...scare her off a little. Keep the fear in her "We're pretty good"

She'd sparred with 200 pound marines and 100kg SAS, taken on insurgents that looked bigger then Binky and brought down a man that looked like he could tear a German tank in two pieces. She could handle a bunch of suburban meatheads.

Back in her memory, she remembered a particular face she'd used. Back in Ukraine. Negotiating with a bunch of pissed off farmers who were more then ready to fire off warning shots at the 'Pig dogs' who'd trespassed. They'd tried reasoning, they'd tried bargaining. If something wasnt done fast, an incident would occur and the CIA would have a few dozen deaths to cover up, and there would no doubt be a whole bunch of 21-gun salutes for men who'd 'Died in a mysterious training accident'.

A look. Not the terminator look that intimidates. Not the Mel Gibson look that insists that you hate Judiasm (**Zing**).

Her eyes were cold, but deep. Her pupils focused, her eyelids slowly edged closer to each other. An almost-smile came on her face. To be poetic, it was a look of unemotional professionalism, mixed with a sociopathic grin that almost screamed, cried out: "_I will kill you. I will burn your house to the ground. And I will destroy everything you love. Then you'll die_"

And she made sure Buster caught the brunt of it. After she was sure he'd lost his nerve, she gave a quick flex of her biceps (Out doing even Binky in show-boating) and said:

**"_Lets rock_" **

And of course, they did. Ultimately, Sue Ellen was on the winning team. She tackled many and was brought down rarely. The few times that she and the dirt were brought face-to-face, she quickly stood right back up and reentered the game.  
Though the few times that she had a chance to breathe, she felt watched.

Fern was looking on from a distance, waiting to show Sue Ellen the house that her connections had reserved. Francine and Jenna had left early. Strangers filled the rest of the space. Some watched the game, but it was different. This felt threatening. From a distance, as if they were documenting her.

Probably her subconcious. Her mind never left the battlefield it seemed. She just couldnt really relax.

But still...This seemed odd. Nothing like the usual ambient danger she felt herself and her friends to be in. This felt legit. And very dangerous.

_Something was wrong. _

* * *

**Full Metal Jacket** and **Taken** references ftw

Regular procedure. Please notify me of any spelling/grammar/movie quote mistakes. Please and thank'ya.


	13. Chapter 13

_Been dormant for a while. Lotsa reasons. You dont wanna' hear that though do ya'? Course you dont._

* * *

The game had finished. The evidence that men were stronger then women was...inconclusive.

"Sorry about that last one" Sue Ellen followed Alan, who was rubbing his parietal bone and doing his best to ignore the headache that had come with it.

"That's fine..." He winced, trying to be masculine in the face of a headache "I've come to expect this much from playing the game"

"I didnt think gridiron was your sorta' game"

"It never was"

"Thats the understatement of the year" She had retained her sharp edge, but came to regret it a moment later. Not so much the insult, but the way it was said. It had contained more venom then laughing gas. Luckily, Alan was as spongy as his nickname implied. His years of being the class nerd had given him a particuarly hard skin.

"Soccer though, now that I can play"

"They say its the most physically demanding"

"I'd have to disagree, if that were true I probably wouldn't have gotten pile drived there by you"

"Coulda' been worse. Coulda' been Binky, he's strong AND fat"

They laughed. Then a long moment passed. The walk continued toward Fern, who was standing by her car awaiting the weary Sue Ellen. Alan seemed tongue-tied. Usually Sue Ellen would make them spit it out, but Brain was a soft spot for her. She'd always found it hard to yell at guys like him back in the day.

"Sue Ellen, I was wondering if-"

They knew their stuff, but sometimes...They just overburdened themselves and fumb-

"-You'd want to go out sometime next week?"

The sudden turn of attention wrenched her head to face him, and unfortunetaly brought her foot to collide with her stationary ankle. Awkward, but she quickly recovered.

"Well...y'know"

"Its perfectly acceptable if you decline" He had a strange air of confidence about him. So cool, and collected. He radiated it. His smile was almost a mimicry of a villain. He'd left her every opportunity to decline. Strangely enough, she was actually a bit out of wack. Her mind was tumbling over itself and her mouth hung open for flies to enter at will. A subtle blush bloated on her cheeks.

"My...I should..." Her answers came out uncoordinated and simplistic. Put simply, she was acting retarded. Perhaps she'd been subtely hoping something like dating to come along, but ultimately was unprepared. A cold hand and a stern eye seemed to look down on her. Reznovs'. He wouldnt be happy.

But then again, Reznov was dead.

A deep breath in and "I'd love to"

* * *

"Sorry that took so long"

"Thats alright"

"And sorry if Im stinking up your car"

"Used to it"

Once she'd departed from Alan, Sue Ellen was offered a lift back to her new house (Courtesy of Fern). Although she accepted the lift, she'd declined the house. She wanted it to be a surprise for her just as much as...him. It was weird saying son.

"What are you gonna' do after the three months are up?"

"Huh?"

"Thats how long your off for right?"

Thinking back, Sue Ellen remembered her Captain's explicit words.  
_'Tell me where you want to be in life'_

Admittedly, she couldnt really be anywhere NEAR where she wanted to be. For a few reasons. But maybe close.  
Child. Check. House. Check. Backup funds. Check. Car...Not so check, but that could be handled. There was only one problem.

"I'm leaving the forces"

Fern seemed surprised, but held back on the obvious question. The why was simple.  
"Maybe you should line up some work before you start telling your boss to shove it"

She laughed "Message recieved"

"Oh, that reminds me" Taking a hand off the steering wheel for a moment, Fern tapped the glovebox "You got some mail today. I was going to give it to you in the park, but I must of forgotten it"

Sue Ellen searched into the drop down compartment and found a rubber-banded bunch of official and unofficial letters. They carried with them a sense of procrastination and humdrum.

_...Better get used to it._

* * *

_Her first day._

_The day she went out on patrol. The one day. Christ, the exact HOUR they stopped to speak to some nice looking villagers, nearly a hundred tango's pop out of everywhere and start taking potshots._

_This wasnt a good start for her career with the Berets'._

_"ASYLUM, THIS IS BOGEYMAN - WE HAVE COME UNDER HEAVY ATTACK FROM ALL DIRECTIONS AT RALLY-" A horrific sound was heard, and a single voice ceased from combat._

_"FUCK!" She screamed as her goggles were suddenly covered in what she prayed was fake blood. She looked down and saw him, twitching. He still had some life, but not for long "MEDIC UP FRONT!"_

_Along with the Red Cross marked man came her squad leader "WHAT HAPPENED?"_

_"TOOK ONE UP TOP"_

_"REZNOV, TAKE CARE OF WILLIAMS. ARMSTRONG, GET ON THAT RADIO AND GIVE THEM THE SOUTHSIDE COORDINATES FOR AN AIRSTRIKE. ENEMY IS RANGING MORTARS!"_

_Sue Ellen yanked up the cord and checked the frequency was still correct._  
_'Bogeyman respond, over'_

_"ASYLUM, THIS IS BOGEYMAN - REQUESTING CAS FOR GRID, TWO, FIVE, FIVE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX. OVER"_

_'Roger Bogeyman, local gunship support is en route'_

_"ROGER ASYLUM, OUT" She lowered the radio piece "CAPTAIN, AIR SUPPORT EN ROUTE!"_

_He didnt notice, he was too busy watching the horizon for mortar streaks. She raised her voice and unintentionally, her posture._  
_"CAPTAIN!" He heard "AIR SUPPORT EN ROU-"_

_"FUCK ME, GRENADE!" Was shouted over the firefight and towards her bounced a little ball of hot death. She froze. Scared. She'd been hit, smacked and nearly shot, but a grenade was like a personalized atom bomb. All she could do was freeze._

_It was only a second from detonating when Reznov's fine high school soccer skills paid off. Having patched the wounded mans' neck and shoulder(Luckily the bullet had missed vital components by millimetres at most), he'd decided to simply sit behind Armstrong and pray that the enemy mortars would break before they got the chance to use them._  
_Having heard the shout, his mind had set on a plan from the moment he'd seen its round shape. He slid out and with a millon-to-one almighty upwards kick, sent the frag into the sky. The explosion rocked their world, but it at least didnt end it._

_Sue Ellen paused, checking to see if she was bleeding, if there was any pain. But she was fine. Reznov wasnt. He looked scared shitless at what he'd done._  
_She dragged him back behind the stone wall they were using for cover as the gunship flight tore the southern ridge of enemies to shreds._

_As the earth shook, they looked back at each other. Nothing else existed._

_"THAT WAS A DAMN GOOD KICK!"_

_"FUCKIN'A!"_

* * *

After the drive back to Fern's house, Sue Ellen had managed to sort the mail into piles of important, unimportant and useless. Some were brochures that Fern had conveinently placed in the pile. Others were Armed Forces specific mail (But she considered them junk). Finally, (In the important pile) there was a letter from Captain Marlowe (Her commanding officer) and another unmarked one. In a big 'classified' yellow envelope.

"It must be uncomfortable sleeping on a fold out bed" Fern was obviously doing her best to 'encourage' her out of the house

"Its not that bad compared to most army cots...Or concrete" Sue Ellen slowly opened the envelope and discarded the 'security patch'. Inside was a single sheet of paper, regular A4, with a jargon of letters across the top of the page.

"n s h a a b s o t i a v o s d e d q v l e j z r p z r t r k o v b q r w i g h r a c n g d s c i t x b k a r z l e s v g t g z c w e"

"Looks like you might've gotten the dud letter"

Sue Ellen smiled. Her eyes lowered and took note of the rest of the message.

'1523 1596, France / USDOD, five'

A cipher.

**(****For those of you feeling constructive, see if you can work it out without going any further****)**

"You know, it actually looks like a cipher"

Well, its not like she didnt already know EVERYTHING...  
"It is...Do you have a pen?"

"Sure" One was quickly produced from her pocket.

Sue Ellen began scribbling down various bits of information.

_Blaise de Vigen re was born in 1523. Died 1596. Incorrently given credit for the Vigenere Cipher. It was a vigenere cipher._

_USDOD. United States Department of Defense. Five? Five service branches (Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Coast guard)? 5th secretary of defense (C. Wilson)? Five...Five...Penta...Pentagon! The primary tenant of the Pentagon was the USDOD. The keyword was pentagon._

g...y, i...o, q...u.

"Is this one of those things I shouldnt be reading?"

"I'll be straight with you...I dont know"

"So that probably means I shouldnt read it anyway" Well, that was military intelligence in a nutshell. Dont ask, dont tell...

As the message was decoded, Sue Ellen found herself more and more worried of its meaning. Finally, she decoded the entire cipher and read it in full.

**'You have been compromised Leave area immediately and move to rally point Alpha'**

An important part of her training was learning not to react to some information. Most people would panic if they suddenly found out that the chill running up their spine all day had been from the cold eye of someone staring down a guns' ironsight. Sue Ellen didnt. She couldnt. So she did what she was good at.

"How many rooms did you say that house had?"

"Not too sure, want to go have a look?" Fern jumped at the opportunity to 'help' Sue Ellen make the right choice (-Out of her house).

"Sure, I'd like that" She lied

* * *

The cipher **_should_** be realistic, but I dunno, there was alot of redux' along the way. Might be an error. Shouldnt be though, I checked it before I posted it.

Yeah, so Alan has the hots for Sue Ellen? So sue me. **Punk.**  
Seriously, wikipedia is so stupid. At what point did Sue Ellen and Binky get paired? WTF? And when did George and Jenna get paired? Seriously, those guys must've been on crack when they were watchin it. I'm being honest, if someone could please inform me why?


	14. Chapter 14

There is no excuse for this to be late. I just kept rewriting it because it felt really...how to put it...not a good ending. But, you be the judge. Please enjoy.

* * *

_Haze...Haze was all she saw. Fire and smoke. Crashing metal was the last sound she'd heard. Besides that, it had been her screaming. In pain or in terror? Probably the same thing._

_Her mind reactivated. Get up. Off the road._  
_Scan the surroundings. Search for contacts. Hostile or not. Metal, pavement, metal, grass, burning car. Someone was in the car. Who?_

_She shook her head. A massive wave of pain came upon her, but she couldn't submit. Not now. She'd been trained for this. What happened? Someone crashed into them. Probably a wet work team to stop them from reaching their objective. As they'd veered into them, she'd grabbed the wheel and kept them both from getting t-boned into hell. Captain Marlowe wouldn't be happy, but she'd have to deal with the current problem now._

_She finally stood up and exhaustively inspected the environment. There was movement. Her aggressors had taken just as bad a hit, and were now crawling from their own wreckage. But her partner looked unresponsive. The car was burning. She had to move._

_She stumbled towards the car and opened the door, ignoring the blaring smoke that was being forced down her throat. She hooked her shoulders and dragged her out of the car._

_Fern..._

Fern was bleeding. Her stomach was moving. She was still alive.

Footsteps. From behind the other car. Her opponents had recovered. She had to react. But she had no weapon...  
Screw it, life wasn't exciting enough anyway. She continued on with Fern, only this time she moved in fear of both her own and Fern's death. A pair of shots bounced off the asphalt around them, but they sounded like taps on cutting board to Sue Ellen. Her senses reeled as a sudden burst of coughs tripped her onto the ground and next to an orgy of heat and burning metal.

She scrambled to pull Fern back behind the car, but was met with another bout of poorly aimed shots. She dragged her behind the car and tried to formulate a strategy, tried to think. But the heat, the smoke, the noise, it made it impossible. Without a gun she had no way of fighting them. If they intended to kill her, there would be no stopping them.

She had lost. _And only days away..._

The perpetrator rounded the burning wreckage with an clear limp and a bleeding arm, the obvious cause for his sloppy aim. Although nothing identified nationality, she felt in her gut who this was. Old enemies seeking revenge. His eyes beamed the anger and frustration she had caused him, and the weapon was weakly raised.

She'd never truly had a flash montage of her life. She'd never felt this certain of such a quick and instantaneous death. But snapshots of her life came through. Baby visions of a life in South America, a childhood spent with friends in Elwood, trips all over the world, studying the world in high school, graduation, enlistment, war, love, children...In less then a second it seemed, all of it zoomed past.

In a before death epiphany, she could finally see her life. As a child, her life had been wondrous. Everyday seemed like an after-school childrens tv show (**_Ahem_**). As an adult, she'd faced up to reality. The reality of being all grown up.

Time slowed. Helicopter blades and boot stomps from her past haunted her ears. Something was shouted in Russian.

_Two shots, and it was all over..._

_...Something was wrong.  
_

* * *

The heavy rotors of the Mil made it difficult to hear anything inside the helicopter. But it didn't matter so much, no one was talking.

A lightning briefing had sorted everything out. Objectives, targets, reasons, etc. Need to know didn't apply here, everyone had to know what was going on to ensure that if the problem could be solved then and there, it would be.

Naturally, it was odd for the locals to see this sort of helicopter flying over their homes. They might think they were being invaded, but media speculation and local attention was the least of their worries right now.

"Tridtsatʹ sekund!" Was shouted from the cockpit. Thirty seconds until they reached the incident. Everyone prepared themselves. Balaclava's were pulled down, weapons were cocked, and everyone took a deep breath in.

"Volk peshchera, saranchi odin zdesʹ, my v konechnom podhod" The helicopter sweeped around, and lowered altitude. Very quickly, they could see into the windows of other peoples houses. This was a dangerous place to land, so the entry would be via ropes.

The door slid open and two men trained their weapons on the site. Although they couldn't see much, it looked like a mini war zone. The heavy drop of the rope could be heard throughout the helicopter.

"Vniz verevku!" Quickly, the entire group began taking their turns in sliding down to the ground moving into position. The second man down took notice of the scene in front of him and raised the alarm.

"Kontakt otdel!" The safety switch was flicked off and in split-second identified him as an enemy, and fired off two quick shots. He dropped him. As he remained still, the rest of the squad moved up to inspect the wreckage.

In an understandably dazed state, their objective was kneeling by another casualty. The squad leader stepped up to her.

"Sue Ellen Armstrong?" He asked in a bristling Russian accent. She was startled by the reminder of her past, but in her dazed state (Not to mention the sudden relief of not having to die) she was agreeable and her mind was pliant. She nodded.

He forcefully pulled her further onto the ground and stood over her. He waved a hand signal and the rest of the team proceeded on. More shots were fired, and looking under the car, more body clumps hit the ground. Maybe four or five.

A few moments after they'd landed, the team of dark green suited soldiers suddenly changed tactic entirely. Their aggressive assault line became a retreating defense. No more shots were fired, but it was obviously procedure. One of the soldiers ran back to the helicopter, which had slowly lowered onto the road. The fires were almost extinguished by the unbelievable rotor blades. A chunky laptop bag was with him as the rest of the soldiers retreated back onto the helicopter.

More shots were fired, but they seemed applied. Not so reactive. As if they were trying to scare someone away, instead of kill them. Blaring red and blue lights alerted Sue Ellen to the presence of the civil services.

The helicopter roared away, and in her dazed state, Sue Ellen didn't speak once. She was just tired.

* * *

"Your very lucky Missus-"

"Miss"

"Oh, I'm very sorry"

_Damn right you are._

"Most people would not have remained conscious from that sort of bang on the head"

She shrugged nonchalantly "I've taken my share of dives"

"And its paid off for you...I'd like to keep you here tonight just to be on the safe side though"

"Of course, that's fine"

"I'm glad to hear" Before Sue Ellen could open her mouth to ask, he already answered her question "And your friend is in a stable condition, though she will need to remain here for a few days more"

He must've seen the guilt and sadness on her face. Before he left, he added "She'll be fine"

Luckily for her, she'd gotten her own room. Whether it was luck of the draw or-

"Lieutenant"

Her ears perked. She hadn't been called that for a while. When she saw who it was, she understood why.

"Captain?"

He smiled. Which was bad. Marlowe only smiled when he felt guilty and wanted to make it up. With him was another officer. He wore no uniform, but she could tell from the way he carried himself. Bared chest, arms behind his back, and the eyes...They looked so familiar. His face and hair (Not to mention a tag on his jacket) suggested a Slavic origin.

"I take it you got the message?"

"I received it and was acting on it"

"And that's when they got you?"

"I was trying to get my friend out of the house as well, seeing as it was her car. I thought I had more time"

"You thought wrong" He held up an emaciated folder "We had to attend an emergency briefing a few hours ago...before the letter got sent out. Apparently, someone remembered you"

Sue Ellen noted the pair "We?"

"Lieutenant, this is Kapitan Ulyanov. He's with a Spetsnaz GRU team...apparently we're looking for the same guy"

"I vas at de' incident, you may remember me"

Disregarding the memory, Sue Ellen refocused on the folder. Inside was a starved ID page and a chunky list of wartime criminal charges. Various horrors, arms dealing, assassination of high profiles, evidence of planned racial violence, etc. Your standard issue war-monger/psychotic arms dealer.

"And they want me dead?"

"Ve're trying to backtrack zhis whole thing. Figuring out vhere he vas, vhat he's doing, vhat he's planning. Vhat ve know, is zhat he's has eyes on"

"On who?"

"President hard as a rock Obama, who the fuck do you think?" Once again, Marlowe regretted what he said immediately afterwards. But he didn't show it.

It took her a few moments to think. To comprehend. And to understand where he was going with this.  
"So I want you to stay put..." _No._ "-Don't raise any eyebrows..." _Not again._ "...And we cant let them get anymore leads. And that means no more activity"

Nothing was said. She knew what it meant, and Marlowe knew she got it. The GRU officer simply remained silent.

"If there was any other way...But there's not. They were informed and they're leaving the state now. He'll be under one of our protection teams"

She didn't mind "Fine"

"I'll have someone contact you in a few days"

She wasn't angry, or sad "Understood"

He patted her on the shoulder and gave her a strong look in the eyes.

"Take care of yourself"

She was just tired.

* * *

_Sorry for the bad Russian accent, but...yeah, no excuse. And Mil is a brand of Russian helicopter. Does lots of stuff._

_**Don't clap me off just yet**. Not finished...  
_


	15. Chapter 15

_The house was so empty._

She'd seen it before, but now. Now it was just her. No one to show her around, and no one to explore with. For a second time in her life, she was all alone.

Fern was conscious (_Thank whatever merciful god there maybe_), and soon be out of the hospital. Her...son, would be resuming his life with his agency guardian for the time being, at least until things calmed down. Marlowe would return with _Kapitan whoever_, and eventually figure it all out.

But there was so much explaining to do. And where the fuck did the _Russians_ come into it? It was ballsy enough to deploy Spetsnaz this deep into the US, but openly effecting this sort of operation? She'd probably have a lot more work on her hands soon...

God, she couldn't stop thinking of Laverne. Before Sue Ellen got out, Fern's family and friends came in to see her. Luckily, Sue Ellen managed to slip past them...

...She brought this here. The violence. It was her fault. Her stupid fault.

She just wanted to come home and** forget** everything. The blood and the guns and the death. The double crossing and the politics. The war. She just wanted to **forget** it all. Pretend it never happened. Live a mediocre rest of her life. Love her child, enjoy her friends, eat steak and two veg every night. Sure, her heart wanted adventure, but at what cost?

And where would it end? This surely wouldn't be it. They'd send more after her. Just to avenge whatever wrongs she'd done upon them in the name of someone else. She could leave, but chances are if they could track her down after all these years they could find someone she cared about. They already had.

There was a knock on the door. Still shaken up from her last experience, she withdrew her weapon and nervously aimed it at the door. At this point, she was just about willing to kill anything. She slowly moved to the front door and peeped out. No one was there. She looked down and..._An envelope?_

_Too thin to be a bomb...Maybe a trap. Still..._

In a swift movement, she yanked the envelope inside and slammed the door. She slid down against the door and put the gun on the floor. Across the top of envelope was her CO's signature. _A personal letter? No code? No serial numbers? No security measures?_

_Odd._

She gently opened the top and took out its contents.

A letter and a pile of photos. The letter was far from precise or orderly. It resembled more a scribbled message on a napkin then anything bureaucratic. The photos..._Reznov, birthdays, visits...Her family...All there..._

She'd been searching for these! Kept from her by whatever powers to be. She almost ignored the words on the letter. The overwhelming memories presented to her on these simple photos consumed her mind.

'_Figured you'd earned these_'

...

...Maybe a few more months wouldn't be too hard. At least everyone was still alive. And at least she still had her memories. Ones that she wouldn't forget. Not in a week. Not in a month. Not when she'd grown old and senile.

She would _never_ forget.

* * *

_**And hopefully, none of us will.**_

* * *

**Thank you for reading. This was the story of _Lieutenant (1LT)_ _Armstrong, Sue-Ellen_.**

Inspired by the fact that Sue-Ellen is pretty _goddamn fucking manly_ in the TV show.


End file.
